Maybe We Should Break Up

Lately, skating has become like that boyfriend whom you love, but doesn't love you back. You give and give and give and you get nothing in return. Sometimes I think we should break up. Summer is nearly over and what do I have to show for it? The steady progress I was making in skating has taken a hiatus after a nasty fall on my knees. How nasty? After years of skating, I have purchased knee pads. I found them on a dance website and thought I'd give it a try. They seem thin, yet padded enough to dance knee slides and knee turns. Great, non-evasive. The second rink at Chelsea Piers has finally finished the renovations. After enduring weeks of sessions with over 30 skaters and 18 coaches, a second rink will come in handy. There's something a little crazy about 30 skaters of different levels on the same ice at 7:00am. This one is doing double axels while this one is doing bunny hops. Soon it will be over. However, with or without extra people on the ice, my skating has collapsed. I am stopping myself when jumping, I can't seem to step into a spin and the mandatory mohawk in the Swing Dance is never on time with the music. Recently, I took a week off from skating with the hope that I would return with a clearer head. No such luck. My skating is just as bad today as it was when I took the time off. Maybe we should break up. Usually, I have a game plan prior to arriving at the rink. My outlook is relatively positive and I have a list of things I plan to work on. With 30 skaters on the ice, those plans usually go up in smoke. So much so that I have never successfully skated the Rhythm Blues. Nope, not once. I'm sure a lot of my issues are dependent on my weight. Everything seems to be about my weight so much so that I'm sick of talking about it. I even watched a video about teaching a camel spin to a kid who had no core strength to try to incorporate those tips into my own camel spin. It didn't quite work. Maybe we should break up.

Summer!!!

To quote an old Alice Cooper song, "School's Out for Summer!" I am free!! It's been a very difficult year. One sister had surgery, the other sister got hurt because of all the work she did for our move. We moved. I failed a class and by fail, I mean I didn't get a B or better, which is what you must achieve to not fail the class. I grew to really hate my job because no matter how hard I tried, I was always wrong. (I'm talking about something that was right on Tuesday, was now wrong on Friday. Same thing; different day.) I became incredibly depressed, thoughts of suicide flooded my head. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to eat. And well, everything suffered. I told my manager how much I hated working there and if she wanted to fire me, she could. Then she realized that my co-worker was going into the hospital for an extended period of time and I was it. That and whatever was going on in her life may have settled down. I don't know. I do know that I'm looking for another job. So, skating. Strangely, my deep depression didn't really hamper my skating. If anything, not eating seemed to help. I am landing jumps again and being much bolder. I still have a long way to go to return to my earlier skills (and by earlier I mean before I purchased these particular skates). However, it's slow and steady. What has happened since our last discussion? I, the reluctant ice dancer, took my first two Preliminary Dances: The Dutch Waltz and the Canasta Tango. I passed! I took the test during a freestyle session. As my jump coach Marc, who is also partnered me through the test, guided me through the test, we got off pattern because an adult male skater thought the best place to work on his axel was the track. The judge congratulated me on avoid the skater in the track. HA! Meanwhile, I have been choreographing my new program. I really want to skate that international competition in Lake Placid this October. How much? I'm on an eating plan, a workout plan and I practice as much as I can. I am doing spin, kettlebell, stretch and a 30 day 100 ab exercise challenge. I already have the dress; heck, I have a dozen dresses, purchased for competitions I ended up not doing. THOSE DAYS ARE GONE! On another note, my coach is so concentrated on these stupid dances, that I haven't had a lesson on my moves in months. Oddly, they're getting better because I practice them and use them as a warm up before dancing or jumping. My spins had gone to visit other people because of my lack of core strength. But that's improving. I will on the ice tomorrow and promise to try not to be away so long. I need to get these moves so I can test them and prove a point to myself: that I can. Meanwhile, I have to make a salad, with oranges, because I don't get enough vitamin C.

Freestyle

Back in the dark ages when I first started skating, I finished all of the levels of group lessons and wanted more. I had private lessons during public sessions and then my coach suggested that I skate the early morning patch and freestyle sessions. I was a young adult and thrilled that this extremely strict coach thought I was good enough to skate those sessions. I couldn't wait to sign up. The Skating School Director had reservations. In order to skate the freestyle sessions, I had to prove my worth. Basically, I had to audition for the privilege to give a rink my hard (very hard) earned money. So, there I was, on the ice, demonstrating that I could do all the necessary basic moves of crossovers, turns, stops and freestyle moves of jumps and spins. Although they had their doubts because I was and still am a lefty, they reluctantly gave me permission to skate with the good skaters on freestyle sessions. The young skaters who skated with me on the ice, spent the first month or so, landing jumps as close to me as they could to see if I would flinch. I stopped flinching and skating near the boards when I received my first program about three months later. I bring this up only because yesterday, I skated a session where there were ten skaters who could not skate at all. Not just freestyle, I mean not at all. Zero. Zip. Nada. I'm talking marching, walking and tripping across the ice. And generally just being in the way. What happened to having to know how to actually SKATE before being on a freestyle session? Sessions like that are just expensive public sessions with programs being played. UGH! My fellow adult skaters and I took down several of these skaters, not on purpose (kinda) because we'd be doing something and suddenly BANG! There they were. I had lined up a jump, stepped forward and totally didn't see that little boy OR his sister. Amazing how easily they go down and pop back up. So, what happened to having to know how to skate prior to being allowed to skate a freestyle session? Is it now all about money and safety be damned? Years ago, a kid kept spinning in the corner, her early trials of a camel spin. A male skater, probably a senior in high school, tried three times to do a jump in that corner. Finally, he got angry, caught her free leg and said, "Don't spin in the corner." She never did again. Where is that guy now?

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Computer

Back in December, of LAST year, I started a post about where the time had disappeared to. Well, now it's April and I'm just getting back to that post. Seriously, where DID the time go? So here's what's been going on... 1. School is kicking my butt. You must get a B in a class in order to go on to the next level. I got C in one of my classes, so I have to repeat that class. (I can continue with the other classes, just not that one until next autumn) As a result of getting a C in my Interpreting class (I also have theory classes), the confidence in my signing skills is not what it used be. I hesitate before I sign now, something I never did before. My interpreting teacher (who is hearing) said flat out that I wasn't very good. This is the same woman who evaluated me for the program and accepted me. WHATEVER!!!! Ironically, in my theory, taught by a Deaf professor, she thought I was a CODA (Child Of Deaf Adult) and had been signing my whole life. Seriously whatever... 2. Work: Since my classes are after work, I have arrive to work early and I leave early. My manager actually said, "I don't care if you never make it to school. It has nothing to do with your job so I don't care." Well thank you. So I don't mention school at all. I did mention the comment to Human Resources though. And I'm trying to transfer to another department. 3. And now finally skating. Let me just say that EVERYTHING is easier when you weigh less. I've lost a few pounds; nothing to write home about, but I can feel it in my bones (which still kinda hurt from the extra weight). My jumps are returning; I need to make them bigger. Marc, my jump coach, said I was too tall and too long legged to have little hoppy jumps. He's right. So I'm working on making them bigger. My salchow has never been my favorite jump; still isn't. But it has returned, along with my toe loop and loop jump. My flip jump, which used to send me into extreme pain, if I can just stay in, is a really high jump. I haven't tried a lutz yet, but I feel it coming. Spins were something that were natural to me. I guess being slightly dizzy naturally made them easy. I need my core strength to get my spins back because they have gone to visit other people and have not returned. I am, however, getting not one but TWO revolutions on my back spin about 22% of the time. Two of the three Preliminary dances are ready to test. Poor Marc, my jump coach, gets to take me through those dances. Now, all I have to do is remember the re-start, not look down and remember to breathe. So easy and yet so hard. 4. My sisters and I have moved. It was HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Probably one of the worse moving experiences I have ever had. Mostly because I am a slob. And according to one of my sisters, I have too much stuff. I work in an office, have to dress daily (well I do work from home on 2 of those days) so I cant wear jeans to work everyday. I have to dress in business clothes, not suits, but acceptable business attire. During the move, I kinda stretched that a bit and it was noticed that some of my outfits weren't exactly work appropriate. But I'm settling into my new, much smaller bedroom. I can make it work. 5. Exercise. I have returned to working out. I can get some core strength back; I'm determined. I didn't go to Adult Nationals again this year. Amy has basically abandoned my MIF test for ice dancing. She has no confidence that I will ever pass a Silver MIF or freestyle test, hence Marc. I have reached out to my old teacher who can fix anyone's moves to make them pass. She's a bit cranky, but she gets the job done. I need to practice more. Not this weekend; it's Easter. Next weekend, I can skate on Saturday and Sunday and I will. Gotta cut my music for a program so I have something to aim for. It is not ice dancing, which I do for stamina and flow, but it's not very interesting and I'm not really a fan. That's about it for now. Sorry I've been MIA for so long. Need to set up my desktop because my laptop is only for school. I have a video to do for school and about 4 hour of work for work to do. Yes, I bring work home and do it over the weekend. It's the only way I can keep up. Also, if I don't my manager will send me a nasty email on a Sunday morning at 6:30 asking why something wasn't done. Yes, you read that correctly. Sunday morning. 6:30. Until next time...

Autumn Day

Lately, I have the opening credits of an old '90s cartoon show stuck in my head. Anyone remember "Ren and Stimpy"? Can't get it out of my head and I only watched the first season of that weird and wacky show. Today, I had the best practice I have had in weeks. Thank you NYC Marathon for preventing so many people from driving to the rink. Thank you Intercollegiate Competitions and Monsey, NY for occupying the skaters from NYU, preventing them from coming to the rink. Thank you Daylight Savings Time for causing people to oversleep. Lastly, thank you skating club that I used to ice monitor for, for beginning your Sunday sessions today. All of you assisted in my awesome skate this morning because you weren't there to hog the ice, refuse to move, play annoying music and just generally be there. Appreciate it! We MUST do it again. Was able to get through two patterns of the two dances that I know, twice, without error. And on time with the music. Yes, I was shocked too. And no one cut me off! I KNOW!!!! Gotta love when everything works right. Jumps were still a bit off, but, I accepted them. Some of those landings were a bit suspect, but, I accept them. Will they get better? Heck yeah! This past Thursday, I was talking to another adult skater. We've known each other and competed against one another several times. I said to her that I was upset that my skating is not what it used to be. I asked where did it go? I was bemoaning my lost skills when she looked me in the eye and said, "it's there. You just stopped competing." She reminded me of when I didn't have an element, put it in my program anyway and about half the time, pulled it off. She said if I returned to the mindset of a competitor, everything would fall into place. I was going to ask how I could possibly juggle going to work and school and skate when I remembered that she skated while in law school. I need to be more organized and I will be from now on. In the meantime, I will do the Ren and Stimpy butt wiggle dance and enjoy this autumn November day. It's 18 days until Thanksgiving and 51 days until Christmas. Let that sink in for a minute. Oh yes, and some fool wants to do the show HAIR live on TV. Have they ever seen a production or listened to a recording? A lot of questionable language and a nude scene. Seven second delay anyone? Happy November!!!!

October??

Somehow, I lost track of September... HAPPY OCTOBER!!! Although the month of September slipped past me, I can assure you all that I have been skating. Just not skating well. I don't know if it's due to my weight (I blame EVERYTHING on my weight!) or my lack of sufficient sleep or too much homework or too much work-work. No matter how you slice it; it's not powering on as quickly as I hoped. I cannot understand how I skated better when my feet would numb after 10 minutes of skating than I am right now. Jumps have gone to visit other people, confidence is in the gutter and my feet still hurt!!! Add to that my coach's strong desire to have me ice dance and compete in dance and you have my skating world. I'm leaving out life, school and work; it gets too dull and repetitive to mention my non-skating world. Tomorrow morning, I will be on the ice. My coach cannot come, but I will practice my Dutch Waltz and Canasta Tango because I should. Is this helping my Silver Moves In the Field? Who knows? I am so fed-up with that dang test it isn't funny. Well 6:15am on a Sunday comes awfully fast. It's already 11:30pm. I need to get some sleep. Oh and don't get me started on the Rhythm Blues... I can't even think about that one and I'm not even sure it's next! I wrote the beginning of this blog a week ago and am just getting back to it. My tablet, which I faithfully wrote so many of my blogs on, functions only when it feels like it, so I have to wait until I am home to write. Home and not doing homework. I am so blessed to be in the ASL program I'm in, however, it is kicking my ass. After class on Tuesday, I took a fall while walking down the street. I mention it only because, other than being bruised all over the front of my body, including wrists (which made signing in class for a project on Wednesday kind of slow), I'm a bit achy. Happily on Thursday, my jump coach was sympathetic; he only had me do my jumps fifteen times instead of twenty. I am pleased to say that they are slowly coming back. More practice, less belly and I should have them back before the end of the year. The core is key. So, I've decided to compete in a Showcase competition in February. I just have to purchase and cut the music and choreograph the program. Piece of cake. I also have a two midterms and a presentation I have to do for work. Piece of cake!

AWOL or AOL

Where have I been?? I wish I could say on vacation in Europe or Australia, but no. I've been right here, deep in school, work and the limited amount of skating available to those of us NOT in the summer school programs at the local rinks. To be honest, I have never experienced so little ice time in the summer in at least five years. Hello, rink managers, don't be so cheap with the ice time. When I skate the early morning sessions at Chelsea Piers, there has to be 28 skaters, 12 coaches and an assortment of small animals on the ice. Okay maybe not the animals, but the numbers are correct. All those skaters, of different skill levels... what can I say? Scary doesn't begin to cut it. And on the other rink, 4 skaters because they are part of the summer school. It's like trying to cross the BQE (Brooklyn Queens Expressway) on a tricycle. Once summer school is over, we have the Middle Atlantic competition for another week. Things don't really get back to normal until late September/early October. By then, I will be in my second semester and hoping for the best. Side bar: My first class wasn't so bad. No one pointed at the door and told me to "get out!" Did I understand everything? Oh heck no. But I'm taking the 4 weeks off that I have to attend more Deaf events, study my ASL more and pray, a lot. Back to skating. I should have my bunions punched out on my skates because they become so inflamed when I take my skates off that it's almost funny. If my life was an old Warner Brothers cartoon, my feet would actually be red and throbbing. Come to think of it, my feet ARE red and throbbing; no cartoon needed. At the continued insistence of my coach, I am once again, learning my Preliminary Dances. I'm sure she has grown weary of my Silver Moves (on another note: my GOLD moves are improving. Go figure) and has been teaching me the three Preliminary Dances. Two lessons in and my Dutch Waltz is passable (when I remember the steps correctly). The Canasta Tango... well let's just say I'm not catching on to that one as quickly. Due to my final, I was unable to meet with my jump coach last week, but I'll be contacting him this week. I have, without much thought, mastered my waltz jump and salchow again. And I think I've figured out what's wrong with my toe loop. I just need some more practice. Also, I need to find out whether or not I can get out of jury duty for a few months. Thinking about contacting one of my old coaches to see if she can straighten out my moves. She was able to get a woman who hits the strangest positions to her Novice moves, so it's my hope she can help my back threes and mohawks. As soon as I find out about jury duty, the sessions return to normal and the competition is over. I got a schedule to keep. No longer absent without leave or absolutely off line.