My regularly scheduled sessions are over for the year. I'm torn between being happy and well, not so happy. Happy because the commute from Long Island to Manhattan can be a beast after work. Not so happy because I'm really only skating once a week as it is. Happy because I don't have to monitor on Sunday mornings while trying to get 15 minutes of ice time. Not so happy because at least I had 15 more minutes of ice time.
And I'm still cold.
I'm thinking of naming my facial twitches as I have named everything else happening to my body. I think I'll name her Tammy. Whenever I really can't sleep, that old movie is on Turner Classic Movies and it puts me out within 20 minutes. Thank you Debbie Reynolds.
The Sunday session may change in February. Seems the parents of the higher test skaters want their little darlings to have an 80 minute session without having to worry about the rest of us lower level skaters in the way. The session would begin at 10:00 and end at 11:20. An ice cut would follow and those deemed unworthy of the high test session would have a 50 minute session beginning at 11:30. I wouldn't mind this because the woman who monitors has a daughter who is a Senior lady. I would be more than happy to monitor that early session, however, once the Zamboni is on the ice, I am just another skater like everyone else. I would do nothing other than skate. Nothing.
My co-monitor doesn't like that idea because it would mean she'd have to get up early. Plus, I think she enjoys my only skating 15 minutes every Sunday. Personally, I'm hoping they will adopt the new schedule.
A parent suggested that the lower level skaters have (please sit down for this one) a 30 minute session. 30 minutes?!?!?! Are they mad? What in the wide, wide world of sports are they thinking? As much as they charge for ice time at this rink, who would come??
A new rink opened up 1 mile from my apartment. I think it's outdoors, but I don't care. Since my office is closed between Christmas and New Years (insert "happy dance" here), I'm going to go over and see what's what. I don't know what the schedule is because the website states the schedule will be online after Friday, December 17th and today's the 20th. I can even walk there, I think. Walking might be easier since they never did make those cars like in The Jetsons that you could fold up and put in your pocket. Plus, I've only been in that park once and I really don't remember how I got there. I do remember that I got lost. I asked a woman for directions. Never saw anyone that old run that fast before. I think she's still running and that was last year.
Regardless, I will find this rink. I knew I should have brought a bicycle.
Allow me now to change the subject. I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Peaceful Winter Solstice, Happy New Year and any other holiday I may have forgotten. It seems like just yesterday it was summer and now, as I sit in my slightly overheated apartment, I realise that the year is nearly over. I must be getting old. When I was a kid, it took FOREVER for the Christmas vacation, now it seems as though I just put away my decorations from last Christmas... Wait, I think I DID just put them away in September. Not all of them, just the odd piece here and there. Doesn't everyone leave out Santa and a sleigh? FYI, this was my mom's Santa. It's animated and plays the sax. It plays two tunes: Jingle Bells and Deck the Halls. I always smile when I play it.
So, happy holidays everyone. Stay safe. Be well. I will probably be back before the end of the year.
Happy Holidays!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Cold, Knees and Facial Flutters
I'm cold.
When I first started skating, I was always cold. I suppose it was because I wasn't moving very fast and had to constantly stop to catch my breath. I used to wear a camisole, cotton turtleneck shirt, sweatshirt, tights, knit unitard and pants to skate a freestyle session. At my old rink in Flushing Meadow Park, no matter what I did, I was cold. I used to drink two cups of hot chocolate (one before the session and one after) to try to stay warm. As time went on, I started having additional lessons and my progress improved so I wasn't quite so cold. Then I stopped skating in Flushing and started skating in Manhattan. After a year, I found myself sweating while skating and moved toward long tee shirts and leggings. I didn't bother to mention the year I skated in scrubs, but they were really comfortable.
I skated in long tee shirts and leggins until Ted. Ted was the most negative coach I have ever had. I came to Ted with all of my singles and before I left Ted, not only did I have a pair of skates stolen, all of my jumps left me; and some have yet to return. Sometimes you make a mistake. He was a nice enough guy, but not the coach for me. However, had it not been for Ted, I wouldn't have had a program choreographed by Amy who subsequently became my coach. I should note that the program was lovely, but both Amy and I said the music (chosen by Ted) was definitely NOT for me.
Fast forward to all the sessions skated recently. I am cold. Not just chilly, but as cold as I was back in the day. Some days, I can't seem to warm up no matter how long I skate. Now that I'm older, it takes longer to warm up and sometimes by the time I do, the session is over! It's like I'm starting from scratch.
My knees have decided that pain is a normal now. Last year, shortly after Thanksgiving, my left knee decided it was going to hurt all the time. I went to my orthopedic physician, Dr. Cutie (that's my nickname for him) who suggested an MRI. Unfortunately the location was not in my plan and as luck would have it, the pain subsided after three weeks of rest. I began wrapping my left (landing leg) knee with an ace bandage just because it felt stronger with the bandage (might have been all in my head). Several months later, my right knee started to bother me and I ended up wrapping both knees. I look like I've been a catcher for a major league baseball team and my broke down body needs some TLC.
The pain has returned on mt left knee so my right knee is no longer lonely.
This brings me to the facial flutters. They began in my left eye, ever so slightly and slowly, causing me to think my eye was just twitching because of allergies. Two weeks later, the occasional fluttering became longer and longer. What began as two minutes every hour became twenty minutes every forty minutes. Then, forty minutes every hour. The fluttering moved down to my cheek. So, my eye and cheek began to flutter for most of an hour. This was when I thought someone should take a look at it. However, before I had the appointment with a neurologist, my lip decided to join the party. Thus far, no one else has seen these flutters/spasms/twitches, but I can feel them. And they are annoying.
Approximately six years ago, I had my first bout with Bells Palsy. It was slight and lasted about a month. It all began with the left side of my face feeling numb. Since my dad had died from complications of a stroke, I was concerned. When my left eye stopped shutting totally, I became frightened. My neurologist (same one) told me it was stress related. Granted, this was before I purchased a car and was taking 6 buses round trip to and from work. But, my mom was still alive, which now counts as a good time.
My second bells palsy period lasted three weeks and was after my mom died. This too was related to stress, which considering the year I (and my family) had just had, was understandable. It wasn't so bad; people moved out of my way when my upper lip would raise and quiver when it wanted to. Sometimes, it made me laugh if I caught my reflexion.
This time neurologist gave me a prescription for a pill that is given to people who are psychotic. I AM NOT PSYCHOTIC! I am a woman who hates her job! I didn't get the script filled; I can't get over the reason for the medication.
I am trying to plan a vacation, alone. So far, all I have is I want to leave my skates at home.
Did I mention I want to go alone?
When I first started skating, I was always cold. I suppose it was because I wasn't moving very fast and had to constantly stop to catch my breath. I used to wear a camisole, cotton turtleneck shirt, sweatshirt, tights, knit unitard and pants to skate a freestyle session. At my old rink in Flushing Meadow Park, no matter what I did, I was cold. I used to drink two cups of hot chocolate (one before the session and one after) to try to stay warm. As time went on, I started having additional lessons and my progress improved so I wasn't quite so cold. Then I stopped skating in Flushing and started skating in Manhattan. After a year, I found myself sweating while skating and moved toward long tee shirts and leggings. I didn't bother to mention the year I skated in scrubs, but they were really comfortable.
I skated in long tee shirts and leggins until Ted. Ted was the most negative coach I have ever had. I came to Ted with all of my singles and before I left Ted, not only did I have a pair of skates stolen, all of my jumps left me; and some have yet to return. Sometimes you make a mistake. He was a nice enough guy, but not the coach for me. However, had it not been for Ted, I wouldn't have had a program choreographed by Amy who subsequently became my coach. I should note that the program was lovely, but both Amy and I said the music (chosen by Ted) was definitely NOT for me.
Fast forward to all the sessions skated recently. I am cold. Not just chilly, but as cold as I was back in the day. Some days, I can't seem to warm up no matter how long I skate. Now that I'm older, it takes longer to warm up and sometimes by the time I do, the session is over! It's like I'm starting from scratch.
My knees have decided that pain is a normal now. Last year, shortly after Thanksgiving, my left knee decided it was going to hurt all the time. I went to my orthopedic physician, Dr. Cutie (that's my nickname for him) who suggested an MRI. Unfortunately the location was not in my plan and as luck would have it, the pain subsided after three weeks of rest. I began wrapping my left (landing leg) knee with an ace bandage just because it felt stronger with the bandage (might have been all in my head). Several months later, my right knee started to bother me and I ended up wrapping both knees. I look like I've been a catcher for a major league baseball team and my broke down body needs some TLC.
The pain has returned on mt left knee so my right knee is no longer lonely.
This brings me to the facial flutters. They began in my left eye, ever so slightly and slowly, causing me to think my eye was just twitching because of allergies. Two weeks later, the occasional fluttering became longer and longer. What began as two minutes every hour became twenty minutes every forty minutes. Then, forty minutes every hour. The fluttering moved down to my cheek. So, my eye and cheek began to flutter for most of an hour. This was when I thought someone should take a look at it. However, before I had the appointment with a neurologist, my lip decided to join the party. Thus far, no one else has seen these flutters/spasms/twitches, but I can feel them. And they are annoying.
Approximately six years ago, I had my first bout with Bells Palsy. It was slight and lasted about a month. It all began with the left side of my face feeling numb. Since my dad had died from complications of a stroke, I was concerned. When my left eye stopped shutting totally, I became frightened. My neurologist (same one) told me it was stress related. Granted, this was before I purchased a car and was taking 6 buses round trip to and from work. But, my mom was still alive, which now counts as a good time.
My second bells palsy period lasted three weeks and was after my mom died. This too was related to stress, which considering the year I (and my family) had just had, was understandable. It wasn't so bad; people moved out of my way when my upper lip would raise and quiver when it wanted to. Sometimes, it made me laugh if I caught my reflexion.
This time neurologist gave me a prescription for a pill that is given to people who are psychotic. I AM NOT PSYCHOTIC! I am a woman who hates her job! I didn't get the script filled; I can't get over the reason for the medication.
I am trying to plan a vacation, alone. So far, all I have is I want to leave my skates at home.
Did I mention I want to go alone?
Monday, November 22, 2010
Rink Rants
I should give you fair warning; I'm complaining.
On my last session, I had just 10-15 minutes on the ice before my ice monitoring duties took over and my co-monitor insisted that we go over ever detail of who was on the session approximately twelve times. Grrrr......
On a positive note, the few minutes I was on the ice were lovely. I've been having acupuncture treatments and it's really helped keep Phil and Sylvie at bay. It's like day and night as far as my stroking and pain level is concerned.
Sadly, it has done noting to improve my three turns.
There is a young woman (early twenties) who guests on the Sunday morning and occasionally weekday evening sessions. She is the most unpleasant, rudest person I have ever had the misfortune of having to share the ice with (yes, I know, I ended a sentence in a preposition. And me, an English major!). She is so unpleasant, other adults roll their eyes when they see her. She finds pleasure in almost hitting anyone who is older than she is, who is not moving overly quickly, but at a slower speed. On several occasions, we have had near misses (although I think they should be called "near hits" because if it's a near miss you're not really close to one another...). One day, while on lesson, I moved my right arm while she was rounding the corner and slapped her square across the face. Another time, I was doing my artistic program, which had some beautiful arm movements. I suppose I wasn't important enough for her to notice and not be skating right up next to me because I slapped her across the face a second time. On that same day, during that very same run-through, I nearly took her head off during a camel spin I was already in because she decided she just had to do a jump right there. It only took three years, but she stopped skating into me.
I only mention this because I had to hand out copies of the schedule on Sunday. She took one, and said nothing. Now I admit, I can be a royal bitch sometimes. I stood in front of her and said. "The words you're looking for are 'THANK YOU'." She looked up at my non-smiling, annoyed face and mumbled, "Thanks." I walked off.
Damn. Did I really need to go there? Would have it killed this spoiled little witch to just be polite?
There's an adult skater during the evening session who is so oblivious to everything around her, she actually frightens me. I am not easily frightened. I've had guns pointed at me during robberies. I've walked into the middle of a drug bust. I've fallen off the subway platform. All of these incidents will be explained if you send me a comment with your e-mail address; none of them are skating related. However, this adult skater frightens me.
She is a beginner skater; working on her Pre-Preliminary and Preliminary moves and all the elements up to those tests as well. She's nice enough, but, well rather spacey. She notices absolutely, positively nothing around her. And I mean NOTHING. If she's working on her crossovers on the hockey circles, she will not deviate, speed up, slow down or move for anyone. Skaters have come to a grinding halt after picking up speed and setting up jumps because she has just suddenly stopped and stood there, looking out into space, thinking.
Personally, I've been frustrated by her on every single session. Uusally, when I'm doing my program, being a lefty, I'll jump in the lefty lutz corner. There is she is, hanging out, thinking. I ran into her once, only once, and she shouted at me "Look out!" Really? We had a young man going to Regionals skate a session. She never looked up as he tried to do triple jumps all around her.
Totally oblivious. Now become really frightened: she works in healthcare.
Of course that brings me to skaters who can only practice jumps in the exact same spot they always practice their jumps. I'm not talking about anywhere past the blue line, nope, I'm talking about the very same, exact point in the ice where they ALWAYS do a jump. I'm talking about the spot where, if by fluke of nature, you dared to land a jump three feet around that exact spot, the skater will suck her teeth and stamp her foot because you're in the way. If I skated that way, I'd get even less done than I already do. Such foolishness. Some of these skaters get angry when they can't do a jump in their pre-determined two feet of space, even when someone is skating a program.
Last rant: parents standing by the door. When I handed out the rules on Sunday, I glanced at them and noticed that one of the rules stated parents are not allowed to stand by the rink doors. No one listens to that rule. At least once per season, while getting off the ice, I will trip and slam into a parent blocking the door. It happens every year. I don't do it on purpose, but I do find it rather funny that I can manage to stay upright on the ice, but fall down on solid ground. Parents, if you see a skater getting off the ice, one suggestion: MOVE.
On my last session, I had just 10-15 minutes on the ice before my ice monitoring duties took over and my co-monitor insisted that we go over ever detail of who was on the session approximately twelve times. Grrrr......
On a positive note, the few minutes I was on the ice were lovely. I've been having acupuncture treatments and it's really helped keep Phil and Sylvie at bay. It's like day and night as far as my stroking and pain level is concerned.
Sadly, it has done noting to improve my three turns.
There is a young woman (early twenties) who guests on the Sunday morning and occasionally weekday evening sessions. She is the most unpleasant, rudest person I have ever had the misfortune of having to share the ice with (yes, I know, I ended a sentence in a preposition. And me, an English major!). She is so unpleasant, other adults roll their eyes when they see her. She finds pleasure in almost hitting anyone who is older than she is, who is not moving overly quickly, but at a slower speed. On several occasions, we have had near misses (although I think they should be called "near hits" because if it's a near miss you're not really close to one another...). One day, while on lesson, I moved my right arm while she was rounding the corner and slapped her square across the face. Another time, I was doing my artistic program, which had some beautiful arm movements. I suppose I wasn't important enough for her to notice and not be skating right up next to me because I slapped her across the face a second time. On that same day, during that very same run-through, I nearly took her head off during a camel spin I was already in because she decided she just had to do a jump right there. It only took three years, but she stopped skating into me.
I only mention this because I had to hand out copies of the schedule on Sunday. She took one, and said nothing. Now I admit, I can be a royal bitch sometimes. I stood in front of her and said. "The words you're looking for are 'THANK YOU'." She looked up at my non-smiling, annoyed face and mumbled, "Thanks." I walked off.
Damn. Did I really need to go there? Would have it killed this spoiled little witch to just be polite?
There's an adult skater during the evening session who is so oblivious to everything around her, she actually frightens me. I am not easily frightened. I've had guns pointed at me during robberies. I've walked into the middle of a drug bust. I've fallen off the subway platform. All of these incidents will be explained if you send me a comment with your e-mail address; none of them are skating related. However, this adult skater frightens me.
She is a beginner skater; working on her Pre-Preliminary and Preliminary moves and all the elements up to those tests as well. She's nice enough, but, well rather spacey. She notices absolutely, positively nothing around her. And I mean NOTHING. If she's working on her crossovers on the hockey circles, she will not deviate, speed up, slow down or move for anyone. Skaters have come to a grinding halt after picking up speed and setting up jumps because she has just suddenly stopped and stood there, looking out into space, thinking.
Personally, I've been frustrated by her on every single session. Uusally, when I'm doing my program, being a lefty, I'll jump in the lefty lutz corner. There is she is, hanging out, thinking. I ran into her once, only once, and she shouted at me "Look out!" Really? We had a young man going to Regionals skate a session. She never looked up as he tried to do triple jumps all around her.
Totally oblivious. Now become really frightened: she works in healthcare.
Of course that brings me to skaters who can only practice jumps in the exact same spot they always practice their jumps. I'm not talking about anywhere past the blue line, nope, I'm talking about the very same, exact point in the ice where they ALWAYS do a jump. I'm talking about the spot where, if by fluke of nature, you dared to land a jump three feet around that exact spot, the skater will suck her teeth and stamp her foot because you're in the way. If I skated that way, I'd get even less done than I already do. Such foolishness. Some of these skaters get angry when they can't do a jump in their pre-determined two feet of space, even when someone is skating a program.
Last rant: parents standing by the door. When I handed out the rules on Sunday, I glanced at them and noticed that one of the rules stated parents are not allowed to stand by the rink doors. No one listens to that rule. At least once per season, while getting off the ice, I will trip and slam into a parent blocking the door. It happens every year. I don't do it on purpose, but I do find it rather funny that I can manage to stay upright on the ice, but fall down on solid ground. Parents, if you see a skater getting off the ice, one suggestion: MOVE.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
No One's Mother
Why does everyone assume I am someone's mother when I show up at the rink. Or someone's (GASP!!) grandmother (I'm not that old!) or someone's nanny. Oh the joys of being an African-American woman in the snotty world of figure skating! To be fair, in the neighborhood I live in, people in my building think I'm the home health aid of the woman in 2G.
I believe I told one woman three times in two sessions that I do not have any children; I actually don't like children. Most kids I have met are obnoxious, whinny, cry-baby pains in the ass. And if one more person tells me I'll feel different about my own kids, I may kick them in the ass. But, I digress...
I had a pretty decent session on Sunday. Not sure if it's because I had on enough deep heat to stop a large truck (and it was pretty warm on Sunday) or because I decided to skate the early session, but it wasn't that bad.
I may never go to the Olympics, but then again, neither will 99% of the skaters out there. I do wish that the skating parents out there would think before they speak. Adult figure skaters are growing everyday. Don't assume we're waiting for our children, like you are. We're moving. YOU'RE sitting, waiting.
I believe I told one woman three times in two sessions that I do not have any children; I actually don't like children. Most kids I have met are obnoxious, whinny, cry-baby pains in the ass. And if one more person tells me I'll feel different about my own kids, I may kick them in the ass. But, I digress...
I had a pretty decent session on Sunday. Not sure if it's because I had on enough deep heat to stop a large truck (and it was pretty warm on Sunday) or because I decided to skate the early session, but it wasn't that bad.
I may never go to the Olympics, but then again, neither will 99% of the skaters out there. I do wish that the skating parents out there would think before they speak. Adult figure skaters are growing everyday. Don't assume we're waiting for our children, like you are. We're moving. YOU'RE sitting, waiting.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Tears, Nosebleeds and a Pain in the Backside
Have you ever cried so hard you made your nose bleed?
Sunday was one of those days. I've had a series of pretty bad sessions ever since I volunteered to be the ice monitor at the rink on Sunday. Between the stinky attitudes of some of the parents who yell and scream because the schedule of sessions was changed and NOBODY told them (all they had to do was look it up on the website) and the price remained the same and my own issues, it's just not going well.
Things had been going along quite smoothly and then sessions were cancelled for three weeks and my body seems to have forgotten all the things it used to know how to do: like a right inside three turn(?). They were never my strongest three turn, but I could do them and suddenly BANG! Gone. I can't even seem to figure out HOW to do the darn thing anymore. It's frustrating and I've taken some weird sideways falls because while half of my brain says "Go, you got it", the other half says "No way in hell" and my body agrees with that half. It has me flustered.
No, it has me depressed.
I don't need any assistance in the depression department. My back hurts 24/7. My sciatica Sylvie has shown up and refuses to leave. Sometimes the pain is so bad, breathing hurts. Sometimes I can't put weight on my legs. I still have that annoying cough. I'm still fat. My stomach always hurts. My roommate/sister still wants to move away. But the biggest cause of my depression is my job.
For seven years I have worked with a woman who doesn't cover her mouth when she coughs, chews with her mouth open, refuses to lift the phone receiver so she uses speaker phone all the time, tells me I'm wrong every single day, has never allowed me to finish a sentence and has never, ever, ever said "please" or "thank you" to me.
This, combined with a lack of a social life, chronic pain and no prospects for a job whatsoever, has sent me into a depression tailspin the likes of which I have not known since 2002. (That's another long story which also involves work and skating.) How depressed? I have been contemplating checking out of this world. I can be pretty anal about things, so I have made a plan and picked a date. Things have got to turn around for me.
This brings me to Sunday. People, parents really, do not assume that the person checking in your little darling is someone's mother. You have seen me and my busted body on the ice, I am wearing a pair of skates, STOP ASKING ME WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER! I don't have any children, I'm happy to report. I'm not fond of children and even less fond of parents. If I didn't have kids last week, I don't have them this week, so please, stop asking me.
Also, no, I didn't just start skating. I've already discussed how tired I am of having to defend my skating ability. Will I get back to my former glory? I hope so, and fast as time is running out (see two paragraphs above) and I'd like to stop looking like this is the first time I've ever worn skates in my life. I'd like to restore that which was lost, get that which never was, feel good about my skating again. Your comments are not helping my depression, so...
I sat in the locker room after the one and only session I skated, crying so hard my nose started to bleed. A lot. I have high blood pressure (lucky me!) and that may have contributed to it. I don't know. All I know is when I left the locker room with red eyes, no one noticed.
Perhaps that's part of my problem; I am invisible to most. Except if I get in your oblivious child's way. Or when the Zamboni doesn't resurface exactly when you want it to; then you notice me. Other than that, I am quite invisible.
Amy, my coach, thinks things are getting better. She's a very positive re-enforcement type of coach. She also very positive attitude. My attitude right now really sucks. I am in a funk I cannot get out of. So deep is this funk that I don't care that I'm only skating 1 1/2 sessions per week. So deep that retail therapy isn't helping.
I just want to get into bed and stay there for about a year.
My sister plans on going to the rink with me on Sunday. She can be very critical and caustic; just what I need. (Insert sarcasm here!) We're going to brunch afterwards because she is tired of my cooking. I wonder how much alcohol I can drink and still get on the subway. Wish me luck.
Sunday was one of those days. I've had a series of pretty bad sessions ever since I volunteered to be the ice monitor at the rink on Sunday. Between the stinky attitudes of some of the parents who yell and scream because the schedule of sessions was changed and NOBODY told them (all they had to do was look it up on the website) and the price remained the same and my own issues, it's just not going well.
Things had been going along quite smoothly and then sessions were cancelled for three weeks and my body seems to have forgotten all the things it used to know how to do: like a right inside three turn(?). They were never my strongest three turn, but I could do them and suddenly BANG! Gone. I can't even seem to figure out HOW to do the darn thing anymore. It's frustrating and I've taken some weird sideways falls because while half of my brain says "Go, you got it", the other half says "No way in hell" and my body agrees with that half. It has me flustered.
No, it has me depressed.
I don't need any assistance in the depression department. My back hurts 24/7. My sciatica Sylvie has shown up and refuses to leave. Sometimes the pain is so bad, breathing hurts. Sometimes I can't put weight on my legs. I still have that annoying cough. I'm still fat. My stomach always hurts. My roommate/sister still wants to move away. But the biggest cause of my depression is my job.
For seven years I have worked with a woman who doesn't cover her mouth when she coughs, chews with her mouth open, refuses to lift the phone receiver so she uses speaker phone all the time, tells me I'm wrong every single day, has never allowed me to finish a sentence and has never, ever, ever said "please" or "thank you" to me.
This, combined with a lack of a social life, chronic pain and no prospects for a job whatsoever, has sent me into a depression tailspin the likes of which I have not known since 2002. (That's another long story which also involves work and skating.) How depressed? I have been contemplating checking out of this world. I can be pretty anal about things, so I have made a plan and picked a date. Things have got to turn around for me.
This brings me to Sunday. People, parents really, do not assume that the person checking in your little darling is someone's mother. You have seen me and my busted body on the ice, I am wearing a pair of skates, STOP ASKING ME WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER! I don't have any children, I'm happy to report. I'm not fond of children and even less fond of parents. If I didn't have kids last week, I don't have them this week, so please, stop asking me.
Also, no, I didn't just start skating. I've already discussed how tired I am of having to defend my skating ability. Will I get back to my former glory? I hope so, and fast as time is running out (see two paragraphs above) and I'd like to stop looking like this is the first time I've ever worn skates in my life. I'd like to restore that which was lost, get that which never was, feel good about my skating again. Your comments are not helping my depression, so...
I sat in the locker room after the one and only session I skated, crying so hard my nose started to bleed. A lot. I have high blood pressure (lucky me!) and that may have contributed to it. I don't know. All I know is when I left the locker room with red eyes, no one noticed.
Perhaps that's part of my problem; I am invisible to most. Except if I get in your oblivious child's way. Or when the Zamboni doesn't resurface exactly when you want it to; then you notice me. Other than that, I am quite invisible.
Amy, my coach, thinks things are getting better. She's a very positive re-enforcement type of coach. She also very positive attitude. My attitude right now really sucks. I am in a funk I cannot get out of. So deep is this funk that I don't care that I'm only skating 1 1/2 sessions per week. So deep that retail therapy isn't helping.
I just want to get into bed and stay there for about a year.
My sister plans on going to the rink with me on Sunday. She can be very critical and caustic; just what I need. (Insert sarcasm here!) We're going to brunch afterwards because she is tired of my cooking. I wonder how much alcohol I can drink and still get on the subway. Wish me luck.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
New Season, New Issues
Now that the new season for skating has begun, there seems to be a new set of issues to face. For one, there are fewer and fewer sessions to skate. Okay, let's be real; there are NO evening sessions anywhere except the SCNY session on Wednesday night. World Ice has a Monday session at 5:30 (yeah, good luck getting to that one), but that's it. City Ice Pavilion hasn't had a regular evening session since the first year it was opened. And I loved that evening session. Landed some of my best jumps there.
Currently, I'm only skating one session. That would explain the sudden disappearance of various jumps and all of my spins. It would also explain the stiffness of my hamstrings when I do skate. Also the renewal of my sciatica, Sylvie. It's a bit frustrating. Even with everything that had happened during the summer, I was a little further along than I appear to be right now. The three turns for my MIF have gone to visit other skaters, I fear. My spins like to visit other parts of the rink, get their passport stamped and sort-of return to where they began. I have never traveled so much on spins before in life, but now... it's become a constant.
I'm guessing part of the problem is my lack of core strength, flexibility, cardio training and practice. Skating once a week is not conducive to trying to pass 2 tests by January to go to Adult Nationals. If my recent skates are any indication as to how these next few months will go, I'm in BIG trouble.
It's not so much that I really want to go to Utah, although I have nothing against the state, I would like to go to Nationals again, soon. Soon before my body and finances give out. Soon, before I come to my senses and ask myself what the heck am I doing. (I should say before I ask that question again, since I've been known to ask myself that question while in the air in mid-jump.)
I suppose I will have to bite the bullet and attend public sessions. That will work until the weather gets very cold and everyone says, "Hey, let's go skating!!" and the sessions become unbearable. Of course, that would mean a rink would actually HAVE an evening session, which are also few and far between. Out here in Long Island, there are some outdoor rinks I could try. Wish I could get my GPS to work in my car.
On another note: my last session was good. Although I'm still having that "3 turns are visiting other skaters" issue, I am working through it. I didn't feel like spinning; working on my moves takes up most of the session. Hopefully, it'll work out that my jumps will be more consistent, although since I hardly have time to do them, I'm not sure how.
I really have to get back into shape. My stomach looks (to me anyway) as though I am 6 months pregnant; I'm not. Plus, all of my elements will be stronger if I do.
But first, why do my skates feel too big?
Currently, I'm only skating one session. That would explain the sudden disappearance of various jumps and all of my spins. It would also explain the stiffness of my hamstrings when I do skate. Also the renewal of my sciatica, Sylvie. It's a bit frustrating. Even with everything that had happened during the summer, I was a little further along than I appear to be right now. The three turns for my MIF have gone to visit other skaters, I fear. My spins like to visit other parts of the rink, get their passport stamped and sort-of return to where they began. I have never traveled so much on spins before in life, but now... it's become a constant.
I'm guessing part of the problem is my lack of core strength, flexibility, cardio training and practice. Skating once a week is not conducive to trying to pass 2 tests by January to go to Adult Nationals. If my recent skates are any indication as to how these next few months will go, I'm in BIG trouble.
It's not so much that I really want to go to Utah, although I have nothing against the state, I would like to go to Nationals again, soon. Soon before my body and finances give out. Soon, before I come to my senses and ask myself what the heck am I doing. (I should say before I ask that question again, since I've been known to ask myself that question while in the air in mid-jump.)
I suppose I will have to bite the bullet and attend public sessions. That will work until the weather gets very cold and everyone says, "Hey, let's go skating!!" and the sessions become unbearable. Of course, that would mean a rink would actually HAVE an evening session, which are also few and far between. Out here in Long Island, there are some outdoor rinks I could try. Wish I could get my GPS to work in my car.
On another note: my last session was good. Although I'm still having that "3 turns are visiting other skaters" issue, I am working through it. I didn't feel like spinning; working on my moves takes up most of the session. Hopefully, it'll work out that my jumps will be more consistent, although since I hardly have time to do them, I'm not sure how.
I really have to get back into shape. My stomach looks (to me anyway) as though I am 6 months pregnant; I'm not. Plus, all of my elements will be stronger if I do.
But first, why do my skates feel too big?
Monday, September 6, 2010
Giving Thanks and Laying Low
Two weeks ago, maybe less, I had the most awesome skate I've had in weeks. Maybe it was because my coach was there, or maybe it was because I didn't drink the night before (working on that!) but it was wonderful. For reasons I can't figure out, everything and I mean everything worked out.
Then the rink closed for the Labor Day holidays followed by the annual Middle Atlantic competition. I think it opens up for freestyle next week. I'm not sure since the schedule ended on Sept. 3rd and a new one hasn't been posted on the website yet. I look daily.
Also, I have said goodbye to the rink in Bethpage, NY. This is no offense to the people who skate there, but DAMN! Why can't those kids look where they're going? If I set up a jump and you see that I'm already in the air (and my hang time isn't long, by any stretch of the immagination) why, really why would you go into a spin in the corner where I'm about to land. Hey kid, I'm not going to abort this jump for you, I'm already in the air! You shouldn't be spinning in the corners!
That being said, my last session wasn't bad. I left early thanks to back pain and frustration (I hope to meet you at Chelsea Piers young lady. Can't wait to see you on a SCNY session where you will be in EVERYONE'S way.) Oddly enough, I don't want to return to Bethpage for several reasons. The major one is that I would prefer not to work in Long Island and return, instead to Manhattan. I keep looking.
So, I give thanks for those three good sessions. And I wait patiently for the rink to post a schedule. However, sessions with the SCNY will be starting soon; I think I can afford them. Plus, I don't mind bringing my lunch every day; it's healthier.
My weight issues seem to have taken a turn for the worse thanks entirely to a bout of depression. My chosen career is to be a writer. So far, no one wants my writing. My sisters are in show business and have had a fair amount of success. One sister more than the other. And yet that sister complains daily when she's working on a show. And I mean daily. Something is always just not right enough. She's a perfectionist and a "my way or the highway" type of person. However, she has had an incredible career. Things have been a little slow recently, but they are picking up. I'm glad; I want my family to succeed. I want them to be happy. I want my sister to stop complaining so much. I'd like her to actually listen after she asks how I am when I tell her "not so good".
My other sister is in a slump, mostly because she needs to get out of her own way and stop listening to her "friends". I don't know these people; I don't want to know these people, but they NEVER come to visit her. She always goes out of town to visit them. We're talking a day trip here people. I think she's very talented and pretty. These friends seem to be feeding her a lot of negativity wrapped up in religious retoric. Did I mention that I don't like these people?
Anyway, my bout of depression is the culmulation of finding my college boyfriend happily married and not remembering dating me at all, a job I absolutely hate, a commute to said job that makes me wonder if anyone on the Northern State Parkway in Long Island ever read the driver's manual, a long serious bout of writers block and no one wanting to read my work anyway. I've been toying with self-publishing, but fear that I'm going to end up with 10,000 copies of a book that I tear apart to wrap up my breakables if I have to move again.
With that said, until the rink re-opens and I can write myself out of the latest corner I have put the characters of my book into, I will be laying low and working out. Besides, I feel really, really, fat and look pregnant. Why do I say that? Going into Manhattan a few weeks ago, a man gave me his seat because he thought I was pregnant. He asked me when I was due. As I sat down, I said, "I'm not pregnant, just fat. Thanks for the seat."
See you in a week.
Then the rink closed for the Labor Day holidays followed by the annual Middle Atlantic competition. I think it opens up for freestyle next week. I'm not sure since the schedule ended on Sept. 3rd and a new one hasn't been posted on the website yet. I look daily.
Also, I have said goodbye to the rink in Bethpage, NY. This is no offense to the people who skate there, but DAMN! Why can't those kids look where they're going? If I set up a jump and you see that I'm already in the air (and my hang time isn't long, by any stretch of the immagination) why, really why would you go into a spin in the corner where I'm about to land. Hey kid, I'm not going to abort this jump for you, I'm already in the air! You shouldn't be spinning in the corners!
That being said, my last session wasn't bad. I left early thanks to back pain and frustration (I hope to meet you at Chelsea Piers young lady. Can't wait to see you on a SCNY session where you will be in EVERYONE'S way.) Oddly enough, I don't want to return to Bethpage for several reasons. The major one is that I would prefer not to work in Long Island and return, instead to Manhattan. I keep looking.
So, I give thanks for those three good sessions. And I wait patiently for the rink to post a schedule. However, sessions with the SCNY will be starting soon; I think I can afford them. Plus, I don't mind bringing my lunch every day; it's healthier.
My weight issues seem to have taken a turn for the worse thanks entirely to a bout of depression. My chosen career is to be a writer. So far, no one wants my writing. My sisters are in show business and have had a fair amount of success. One sister more than the other. And yet that sister complains daily when she's working on a show. And I mean daily. Something is always just not right enough. She's a perfectionist and a "my way or the highway" type of person. However, she has had an incredible career. Things have been a little slow recently, but they are picking up. I'm glad; I want my family to succeed. I want them to be happy. I want my sister to stop complaining so much. I'd like her to actually listen after she asks how I am when I tell her "not so good".
My other sister is in a slump, mostly because she needs to get out of her own way and stop listening to her "friends". I don't know these people; I don't want to know these people, but they NEVER come to visit her. She always goes out of town to visit them. We're talking a day trip here people. I think she's very talented and pretty. These friends seem to be feeding her a lot of negativity wrapped up in religious retoric. Did I mention that I don't like these people?
Anyway, my bout of depression is the culmulation of finding my college boyfriend happily married and not remembering dating me at all, a job I absolutely hate, a commute to said job that makes me wonder if anyone on the Northern State Parkway in Long Island ever read the driver's manual, a long serious bout of writers block and no one wanting to read my work anyway. I've been toying with self-publishing, but fear that I'm going to end up with 10,000 copies of a book that I tear apart to wrap up my breakables if I have to move again.
With that said, until the rink re-opens and I can write myself out of the latest corner I have put the characters of my book into, I will be laying low and working out. Besides, I feel really, really, fat and look pregnant. Why do I say that? Going into Manhattan a few weeks ago, a man gave me his seat because he thought I was pregnant. He asked me when I was due. As I sat down, I said, "I'm not pregnant, just fat. Thanks for the seat."
See you in a week.
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