I Can Work With This

Prior to receiving the news that I was being laid off (which was a blessing in disguise), I signed up for an intensive ASL class at a local college. I was evaluated and placed in the highest level. Unfortunately, not enough people registered for the class, so I stepped down to the next lower level. The teacher and I are almost at the same signing level; the other students are three levels below me. It's going to be a long summer... Back to skating. While I still don't know what the deal is with my feet (although I've had two people tell me they think it's all in my head. No, it's in my FEET!!), I was able to skate 99% of the session today without doubling over in pain. The pain is not as intense as it has been for the past few weeks, so I am able to skate. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a good thing because there are early morning Public Session that this woman needs to attend. I figured I can go Monday through Thursday because most camps will show up on Friday. Today I practiced many of the Silver MIF. My back inside three turns are still not clean and usually in the wrong place, but they do look like three turns and they are the correct size (they used to be about the size of large cantaloupes). A step in the right direction. I'm not sure how many I'm supposed to skate on each size, but today I had three forward and three backwards. I was also pleasantly pleased to report four successful back spins. Three revolutions each, but, I'll take it. Considering that I land on my left foot and that's the foot that hurts so badly, I was surprised to land every jump I tried: salchow, loop, toe loop. I stopped at that. Have I ever mentioned that I'm extremely competitive? With two older sisters who are both prettier and much more talented than I am, I became very competitive at a young age. That being said, I still feel a tinge of jealousy when I see another adult skater, taking lessons from my coach, who is working on higher elements. Okay, my Silver MIF need help, but my free skating is pretty solid when not in pain. It's confusing to me to watch someone who cannot spin work on flying camel spins. Can't land a loop jump working on axels while I spend so much of my lesson stroking. As soon as my feet feel better (or at least when I find out why they hurt), I'm going to ask to work on harder elements. Personally, I must say I'm tired of working on Silver MIF. And it is so dog-gone HOT in NYC!!! "Summer, not a bit of breeze Neon signs are shining Through the tired trees. Lovers walking to and fro. Everyone has someone And a place to go..." **Night Song from Golden Boy (yes, it is a musical too. Originally starring Sammy Davis Jr as a boxer... Go figure.) Music by Charles Strouse; lyrics by Lee Adams.

So What Happens Now?

First of all, I want to thank everyone who wished me well in my new unemployed state. So far, I've managed to remain positive. However, it has been under one month. On to skating. I am wondering, seriously how long I will be able to do this. The pain from my left foot has traveled up my leg toward my knee. Now, my right foot is suffering from the same problem that has plagued my left. It hurts to walk, it hurts to skate, the pain wakes me up during my five hours of interrupted sleep I get per night. Sometimes the pain is so bad, I wish I could pass out to make the pain stop. My doctor's appointment is either the 22nd or the 29th; I'm not sure which. This pain is causing a problem with day to day activities, but is really trying to throw a wrench in my skating. Today's session consisted of me spending a lot of time sitting down because I couldn't stand. When I was able to skate, I was unable to perform a right over left forward crossover due to pain. Since my right forward inside 3 turns are weak, we worked on those as part of MIF. The left back outside 3 was really painful and difficult to perform. Somehow, I managed to squeak out one dozen of the worse looking back outside 3 turns known in skating history. Am I watching my plans and goals for the summer slip through my fingers? One of the positive things about being laid off is being able to skate more. I can't skate more if I can't stand on my feet. Wonder if this has anything to do with my weight. Duh! I was able to do some spins, but for reasons I can't comprehend, my right knee began to throb making it difficult to step into a spin (I'm a lefty, remember?). Four scratch spins and five camel spins later, the session and my body was finished. I had tears of pain in my eyes and really, really wanted to pass out from the pain. Instead, I walked with Amy to the subway while extremely nauseous. Point of reference: I am nauseous a lot during the summer months; I don't deal well with the heat, never have. As a kid, I always had to wear a hat to keep the sun off of my head. I also wear sunscreen every single day. What would I do if I couldn't skate any longer? How would I fill my hours? What would become my physical passion? I'm a writer and an ASL Interpreter student, but both of those activities are sedentary. Skating is my physical passion now that I'm no longer on my college softball team (I was a center fielder; could throw from center field to home plate with a two hop step. Thanks Daddy!!!), and I wasn't even first, second or third string on that team (I was a left-over, never got to play a game, just in practice). I have so much I want to achieve before it all has to end. And I really don't want it to end like this. "So what happens now? (Another suitcase in another hall) So what happens now? (Take your picture off another wall) Where am I going to? (You'll get by, you always have before) Where am I going to? (Don't ask anymore.)" *** *** "Another Suitcase in Another Hall" from Evita. Lyrics by Tim Rice; Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber

Open a New Window

My session was canceled due to... well, that'll be explained in a second. Recently, a rink opened up in the park near my job. I haven't skated there because their payment methods are so confusing (if you skate 2 hours 3 times a week, it costs X. If you skate 3 hours 6 times a week it costs Y) I haven't figured out how much it would cost to skate ONE day a week at that rink. Not that it matters because... I was laid-off today. Ten years at my job and the head boss decided to cut my 2 1/2 (one person is part-time) department by one: me. The Finance Department has eleven people; the company has no money, and no one in that department was let go. The head boss is in charge of the Finance Dept. They have someone to do payroll, even though payroll is sent out to another company. The woman in charge of HR doesn't understand Workers' Comp and always asked me what to do. There is a woman who does nothing but order supplies and regulate the A/C, both of which she does badly. THEY still have their jobs. I, on the other hand, have a car full of stuff I accumulated over the last ten years. Grant it, I hated my job. I hated the commute. And I grew to hate driving. However, it kept me on the ice and it kept me paying my bills. Now???? I've always been told: When God closes a door, He opens a window. So, here's to open windows... "Open a new window Open a new door Travel a new highway That's never been tried before Before you find you're a dull fellow Punching the same clock Walking the same tightrope As everyone on the block..."** **Open a New Window from Mame. Music and lyrics by Jerry Herman.

I'll Be Back Upon Me Feet

As I write this, I am icing my feet. Although it is mid-June, it is hot here in NYC. As a result, my feet decided now was a good time to swell up. Add this to my tendonitis in both of the dorsal areas of my feet and you understand how I feel. Ouch. I haven't skated in a month, maybe more. I also feared that my skates, like my tablet, hadn't made it to my new apartment. They had, tablet is still AWOL. So, I skated on Tuesday and for someone who hadn't been on ice in a while, it didn't go as poorly as I expected. I can say, every move, every stroke, every spin hurt like hell. Between my back, my hips (which are just tight from lack of use) and my feet, I thought at one point that I would faint from the pain. It hurt to take a breath. But since I've spent so much time feeling that way, I ignored it as much as possible. When asked what my goals were for the summer, I announced that I would have all of my single jumps secure and all of my spins secure. That includes my back spin (which is really painful to practice). We started with waltz jumps, which were good and solid once the little girl who insisted on spinning in the lefty lutz corner went away. I will never figure out skaters who ignore the rules of where you should jump and spin. The girl came just above my hip; twice I didn't see her and almost took her down. I was in lesson, she was not. I say every skater for themselves. She moved. The rest of the jumps followed in nice order: salchow, toe loop, loop. The toe loop (inside left 3 turn) hurt so much it caused the jump to be really small. Thanks to the dorsal issue, I couldn't even practice a flip jump (the left foot is worse than the right; toe-ing in was impossible). Spinning was a bit harder because my balance seemed off (probably that stupid dorsal issue again), but then again, it had been a while since I was on ice. A rink opened not far from my office; I hope to make it there before the layoffs start. Yes, my job is planning layoffs. Regardless of where I land, it'll be okay. Lately, I've been watching old TV shows: The Jack Benny Show; Bachelor Father; Burns and Allen; F Troop and The Monkees. The title of this blog comes from one of their songs and NOT a theatrical song. "I'll be back upon my feet I'll be back upon my feet. Looking high, I'm looking low When I find my boots I know I've gotta go...." Music and lyrics by Denny Randall and Sandy Linzer

Into the Fire

I have moved; it was hell. Let's just say it was so bad that the high point was when my car broke down and I was stranded in the middle of the street until 2:00 in the morning. Thank you AAA. Or maybe it was when I discovered that 2000-2003 Ford Focus' have a system-wide problem that causes the ignition chamber to lock preventing the key from turning at all. This left me stranded in the parking lot of my office. Thank you Ford. At least I know where my skates are... I think. I hope to be back on the ice this week. I hope to be able to skate more than once a week. I have plans and desires. I need to somehow put them into action. "Let the lightening strike Let the flash of it shock you Choke your fears away Pull as tight as a wire Let the fever strike Let the force of it rock you We will have our day, sailing into the fire. "Someone has to face the valley Rush in! We have to rally and win boys When the world sis saying not to By God, you know you've got to march on boys Never hold back your step for a moment Look alive! Oh your courage will grow Yes it's higher and higher and into the fire we go Into fire! Onward ho!!"** ** "Into the Fire" from The Scarlet Pimpernel. Music and lyrics by Frank Wildhorn.

Hey Up There... Way Up There...

I think the title comes from Follies; a Stephen Sondheim musical about the closing of an old theatre. I think it's from the song "Waiting for the Girls Upstairs". But don't quote me because I'm not sure. I move on Friday to a 3 bedroom apartment with BOTH of my sisters. If you hear screaming in October (when the other sister moves in), it's just us; we can be loud when we get started. I would write more, but I accidentally packed my glasses and can't really see this clearly... More when I've settled and am back on the ice. P.S. Who ordered the summer weather for NYC? Today, it was 81 degrees; it's MAY.

Lost In A Storm

Looking for an apartment is exhausting. And frustrating. A two bedroom apartment should NOT be a Jr. 4. Please don't say it's "huge" when my love seat won't fit in the living room. Add this to my lack of skating, Adult Nationals just ending (without me, again) and my weight creeping up from lack of exercise and you have my life right now. I feel huge, Jabba the Hut huge (Star Wars reference!). I haven't been able to workout during lunch either. Ugh! Watching Adult Nationals is both inspiring and frustrating. Inspiring because I want to skate, improve and compete again. Frustrating because I've notice that there aren't a lot of minorities in the competition. Also, where are the lefties? So, in order to represent the permanently tanned and the lefty skaters, I will have up my game... Just as soon as I move. I must find a place in the next 3 1/2 weeks or put all of my stuff into a storage unit and live with my other sister. While I'm hoping for the best, I'm okay with living with my other sister for one month. My sister/roommate, on the other hand, is adamant. NO. NOT HAPPENING! NOT IN HER LIFETIME. This is what happens when two strong personalities may have to live with one another. Skating wise, I am still surprised that I can maintain some form and skill when only skating once a week, not working out and eating whatever I can grab while in the car. On a positive note, I recently saw two apartments that are "maybes" rather than "hell no!". Seeing another one tomorrow. Wish me luck!