Nobody's Side

Do you find yourself wondering if anyone is on your side? Sometimes are you not on your own side? It's been an odd week. I began the intensive skating classes, which can only be described as semi-private lessons because right now there are two people in the class. More may come; I'm not sure. We worked on forward three turns and inside mohawks; I concentrated on my weaker side. I don't understand why my left forward outside three turn, my right forward inside three turn and my right forward inside mohawks are so hit and miss. I did figures back in the day, but suddenly those three turns have gone on vacation and I keep waiting to receive a postcard telling me when they're coming back. As for the mohawk, well, they've never been my favorite turn so they're really just bad in all directions. The only really bad fall I ever took was doing mohawks. As we say in ASL (American Sign Language): "scar memory" (it means it's been burned into your brain like a scar). Anyway, mohawks have always caused me to pause and pause and pause and false start and pause. It takes forever. My hope is that by the end of the summer (between these intensive classes on Tuesday and the intensive classes on Saturday), I will have both my mohawks without hesitation and the weak three turns will be stronger. A lack of core strength (yes, that again) appears to be holding back progress as well. I don't know what's going on other than when I should be up working out, I'm hitting the snooze button and turning over. I suppose it means I need more than 6 hours of sleep. Go figure. Either way, it appears that if I had more core strength, things would be getting better. That leads me to my current situation: I feel as though my coach, whom I love, is kinda going through the motions because I don't seem to be progressing. I used to have my lesson during the Sunday morning session, but one day, I was told someone else would be taking that lesson time. Okay... I would have preferred to have been told BEFORE I arrived at the rink, but I can always use the practice. However, this was the Sunday session and the lesson was really the only reason I agreed to return to Sunday monitoring. So my lesson day was changed; I can be flexible. I have my lesson on a session with another adult skater. She's working on her Intermediate Moves (I think). However, if she can't come for whatever reason, my lesson is canceled. I always have first lesson... always. Most of the time I don't mind. I arrive at the rink early enough to warm-up and stretch my feet, but sometimes it would be nice NOT to have the first lesson. Yes, I've mentioned this, but my fellow skater is often late, so... Perhaps it's because I am still struggling with foot/skate/blade/back/head/balance issues, but I spend most of my lesson stroking. Like for 10 minutes; it's a 30 minute lesson. When I do work on something other than stroking, it's usually MIF. Sometimes I have the opportunity to jump, once in a great while I spin. This could totally be my fault because sometimes my crossovers are out of control, but I feel stagnant. I know I need work on my Moves, don't get me wrong, but maybe shake it up a bit? Years ago, I competed as a Silver. I'd like to return to competition as a Silver. My coach wants me to move down to Bronze because I "will never get that good". Ouch. I watch my fellow adult skater during her lesson (while I'm getting a sip of water) and I see her working on things I used to work on and things that I can land. But I don't get to work on those anymore. I'm all at sea. Wishing doesn't make it so. Wishing for MIF, jumps, spins and connective steps doesn't make it happen; hard work does. Wishing for flat, strong abs doesn't make me a size 6; hard work does. Wishing that the Friday night session in Bethpage wasn't such a zoo doesn't change the craziness; plowing through the chaos will. It takes 21 of doing something daily for your mind and body to accept it and not rebel at the thought. Consider this the beginning of my 21 days. No wishing; just results. "Never take a stranger's advice Never let a friend fool you twice Nobody's on nobody's side Never be the first to believe Never be the last to deceive Nobody's on nobody's side And never leave a moment too soon Never waste a hot afternoon Nobody's on nobody's side Never stay a minute too long Don't forget the best will go wrong Nobody's on nobody's side" ** Nobody's Side from the musical "Chess". Lyrics: Björn Ulvaeus & Tim Rice Music: Benny Andersson & Björn Ulvaeus