Welcome Back

Four months ago, I came home from a session, put my skates down thought I'd take them on my mini-vacation upstate in a week. I had a competition at the end of the month, which I was positive I wouldn't do well in (lack of training, out of shape and the sudden change in music because my coach didn't think I was "dancing" enough with my original music...???) and figured the break would do me good and I'd at least get an additional day on the ice. I was wrong. The vacation was canceled; heck, life was canceled. I worked several hours a day from home, began and finished a semester of school from home and gained ten pounds, on top of the weight I already needed to lose. Fast forward to today. One of the rinks I skate at has reopened with special freestyle sessions. If you can stand on skates, they'll let you in. The other rink is scheduled to open next week. I have skated three weeks in a row and I can truly say without a shadow of doubt... I AM OUT OF SHAPE!!!! I wasn't in great shape to begin with, unless you consider round an optimal shape. Make that round a little bigger and you have what I am facing, or not facing when I look in the mirror. But it's a new month, filled with hopes and dreams and promises. But no cookies. Or chocolate. And not too much alcohol. And now Blogger has changed the way things look and I have no idea how to do anything. Hopefully, I'll be back. Hopefully I will also figure out the new Blogger set up. Fingers crossed...

Mood Swings

Maybe it's the rain....

Yesterday, I spent much of the day being positive and watching other African-American (and Canadian) skaters on YouTube. I was inspired. I was so looking forward to skating today (Wednesday) and proving that while I was not over joyed with the session, I would go on. Then, I had an argument with my roommate (who is also my sister) and while we have resolved the conflict; I feel terrible. I hate to argue and I usually try to keep my anger and frustration inside where the only person I can hurt is myself. (Please see stomach issues.) I just feel as though my life has gone off on a tangent I never expected.

Like I said, maybe it's the rain.

Since the weather report stated it would be severe thunderstorms on and off all day, I decided not to drive to work. Not driving to work means not going to the rink. I hate driving in the rain, mostly because my car leaks in severe rain. If I had known that when I purchased my 2002 Ford Focus in 2005, I would have returned it immediately. It took a trip to the carwash where the entire inside of my car was soaked to discover this problem. It was also more than 6 months after I purchased the car. She doesn't leak all the time, usually when I don't want it to. As a result, I usually cover her with a car cover; except I forgot to last night and am prepared to return home to a wet car. I'll cover her anyway, and hope for the best.

I also feel fat.

And like a loser.

I know this will pass, but for right now, I just want to cry. Again.

Skating tomorrow at City Ice Pavilion. I like that rink. Had some really good sessions at that rink. Need more good practice sessions.

Maybe subliminal self-hypnosis tapes. "You can land your jumps." "You will ignore the child who only comes up to your hip who insists on doing a two-foot spin where you plan on landing your jump."

It's a thought...