I'm Tired - Off Topic

Long time, no see. And today's post will be off-topic, to a point. You see, I'm tired. I'm tired of seeing videos of black people minding their own business and having some nosy pain-in-the-ass say they don't have the right to be there. I'm tired of these same people calling the police because they feel "threatened" by someone sitting on a bench, walking in a parking lot, going to a mailbox, walking to their apartment. I'm tired of the police-calling people believing that they are right and SHOULD call the police because, well, why not? I'm tired of the police beating up on people. And killing them. And since they police themselves, what do you know, they get away with it. Black Lives Matter. That's not to say YOUR life doesn't matter, but to the police and many officials, black lives don't matter. The last time black BODIES mattered to those racist people, we were on the auction block. These are the same people who have no problem with the Confederate flag, or their generals, but understand how seeing anything related to the Nazi regime could trigger emotions to others. It's the same for black people. The same emotions. The same anger. Recently, a post blew up on one of the skating groups I belong to on Facebook. A woman was upset because of the protests and the people who were not wearing masks. What upset her was those people were allowed to protest without masks, but she couldn't skate. Skating was her therapy. This was translated by many people in the group as "my not being allowed to skate is as important as the protests over Black Lives Matter". Needless to say, it caused quite the stir. We all want to skate; I understand that. But, not being able to skate will not get you killed. Being black, CAN get you killed. There is no comparison. There are too many bullies on the police force. I should know, I went to school with two of them. One of them used to light firecrackers and hold on to them until almost the last second, and then throw it at someone. And laugh. I think he's a captain now. The other one would try to start fights with smaller kids; he tried to start a fight with me once. My dad, being my dad, taught me how to fight. I kicked that boy in the nuts; he never bothered me or my friends again. I think he's a captain too. Cell phone cameras help, but the police usually get a slap on the wrist and are out at the local bar before the person they've killed has been buried. All the cell phone footage in the world isn't going to help if the procedure is corrupt. Those slaps on the wrist will continue because it doesn't effect most people. Think about it. Do you know anyone who has been stopped, harassed or questioned by the police while going about their business? I do. Me, my sisters, and almost every black person I know. A bouncer at a club who stopped a fight was killed by police basically because he was the only black person around, so must have been guilty. The cops broke into a woman's apartment with a no-knock warrant and shot her; they had the wrong apartment and she was asleep. I could go on, but I'm just too tired. Tired of the hate.

How Long Has This Been Going On???

Working from home has advantages: you don't have to change out of your pajamas, but you should. Showering is also an excellent idea; please do it. I think this is week 3 since the virus has taken over everything and while shelves are void of toilet paper (please explain THAT to me), life is pretty much normal. It's times like this that you realize how bad your internet is or how to tolerate the people you love when they won't keep still or just know they are always right about everything. And I mean everything. According to Instagram and Facebook, several adult skaters are using Pic-Skates to skate outside while awaiting the coast to be clear. If it's nice outside and you're in a park and there are a lot of people around you, isn't that defeating the purpose of social quarantine? I am reminded of the people outside my apartment building who decided to have a party on Friday night. How was that helping? I myself and trying to keep from drinking every alcoholic drink in my apartment. So far, we still have something left. Between working 12 hour days and drinking, somehow my sleep isn't what I would have expected. It's not terrible, but if I have one more dream about living in the old west during a cholera outbreak, I think I'm going to scream. Keep yourself busy. I set my watch to go off every 90 minutes so I can do something active, like kettle bell swings, sit-ups, push ups or a 5 minute spin. On Saturday, I spent 30 minutes trying to put on false eyelashes. I succeeded in getting eyelash glue all over my face and one eyelash stuck to my eyelid, but no where near the right location. We will get past this. As some of you know, I am in NYC. I have a dear friend who thinks NYC is going to become like the movie Escape from New York. I've never seen it. All I know is Kurt Russell wears an eye patch and NYC is a prison. We are New York. We survived Hurricane Sandy. We survived losing so many during the throws of the AIDS crisis. We survived 9/11. We will survive this. Will be bruised? Probably, but we will endure. Be careful out there. How Long (Has This Been Going On) recorded by ACE. Written by Paul Carrack.

A Spanner In The Works

For those who don't know, a "spanner" is a British term for wrench. And spanners, we have in spades. Where do I begin??? I had a long talk with my coach about dance, and how I hate it. However, it has assisted in my flow, so I told her I would continue, but I would not spend an entire lesson on dance. Not now, not ever. She agreed, somewhat reluctantly. Being 5'6" and having long legs makes a very good line in dance; but it helps if you enjoy it. I'm working on it. So I re-cut my new music. This music holds a special place in my heart; it was the last piece my mother recommended. And yes, it's slow; it's very bluesy. Think film noir. It's been choreographed using those elements I have right now. I've already thought of some things I'd like to add as time goes on. I had ordered a dress from China, in early February. They said it would take ten days to arrive. Twenty days later and I was started to be concerned because I didn't have any shipping information. So, I went to a dance clothing website and ordered two black dresses. They were lovely. One arrived, almost choked me while I was putting it on, so I requested that they exchange it for the largest size. They agreed. I have that dress and while I can lift my arms in it, it's still a dance dress size XL, which translates to a large. I'm not a large right now; I'm an XL. Sectionals (Easterns since I'm on the east coast) came around and I was not participating. However, they did have a second-hand shop. Two friends saw a beautiful black dress (one had heard my music) and thought it was perfect, and purchased it for me. And it is beautiful. A little small, but beautiful. It fits my music perfectly. The dress I ordered from China sent me notification that it would arrive on April 6th, eight days AFTER my competition. No worries because the second dress I ordered from the dance store also arrived. If you also add the black I already owned and was initially going to wear, I am the proud owner of five black dresses for what will end up being three programs. That's when the spanner was tossed in: the Coronavirus. Slowly, everything screeched to a halt. First, I was told I could work from home if I was sick (I had caught a cold on Tuesday night, by Saturday morning, I was fine). Then my main rink closed. Adult Nationals was canceled. My other two rinks closed and finally my competition was canceled. On top of that, my vacation which was only a trip to Lake Placid was canceled because everything is closed. The rink, Whiteface Mountain, everything. Another stay-cation. I have been reading other skaters' thoughts on the cancellation of AN, Worlds, World Syncho and my competition. I'm trying to be as optimistic as possible, considering I've wanted to do this competition for about six years. It's okay. I will even more prepared for the next competition, which may be in October. I'll be thinner. My jumps will be bigger and stronger, my spins faster and yes, even my dances will be better. (On a side note, I put in two mohawks in my footwork for my program. This way, I'm forced to do them.) So yes, quite disappointing, but such is life. Regarding the virus: STOP WEARING MASKS!!!! If you buy up all the masks, then healthcare workers won't have them when they are taking care of people who HAVE the virus and then it never goes away. You know what you need to do? WASH YOUR HANDS! COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU COUGH AND SNEEZE EVERY SINGLE TIME EVEN IF YOU ARE OUTSIDE! And STOP SPITTING. Okay the spitting thing probably doesn't matter; it's just disgusting. Anybody need a black skating dress?

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Broadcast

Where in the Sam Hill have I been? It's been longer than a minute since I posted; life kind of got in the way, along with the holidays. So, happy holidays! I actually wrote several blogs by hand but never typed them into the system, so if you will indulge me, I will now give you the short version of all of these entries... Keep in mind, this was around the holidays... I belong to two figure skating groups on Facebook; both about competitive adults. Due to a post about figure skating decorations, a rather heated, mean-spirited debate occurred. Personally, I find figure skating decorations, nick nacks, etc, really fun. From sheets to cups to holiday ornaments, I think it's all fun. Thanks to one group, I now have a new skating mug that doesn't have a blond haired girl doing a counter-clockwise layback spin. But something triggered people in the group. Something about a store that I have never heard of before (I'm not sure it's in my neck of the woods) upset people. I looked up the controversy and all I will say is that the privately owned company is ultra-conservative regarding women's reproductive rights. Do I agree? No. Am I going to berate someone for going to that store? No. It's your money. Skating merchandise on a Facebook page about adult skaters I have no problem with. What I don't want to see on that page is your child skating or doing anything else. Post it to your own page please; I don't care. This is, after all, a page about and for ADULT competitive figure skaters. With that in mind, because someone used the words "recreational skater", it triggered yet still another big, ugly, mean-spirited debate. Those two words upset one (and really only one) member of the group so much that he (I checked) beat the original poster to the ground, stating that this was a competitive group and if you were a recreational skater that you should find another group. The person who wrote those snarky comments hasn't competed in several years and his Facebook page doesn't mention skating at all. Was that a fair definition? Aren't we all, in some respect, recreational? I found the following definition for recreation: Recreation is an activity of leisure, leisure being discretionary time. The "need to do something for recreation" is an essential element of human biology and psychology. Recreational activities are often done for enjoyment, amusement, or pleasure and are considered to be "fun". Unless you also teach skating or are being paid to do a show, isn't that what we are all doing? We all started the same way with "push, glide, push, glide." Struggled with crossovers or turns and stops. Celebrated our first jumps and spins and our first "real" costumes. It was wrong for the triggered individual to go off on the original poster, who had just joined the group and I believe has already left it. I don't care what you call me; I've probably been called it already. That takes me to the Holiday Show I skated in. How can I describe it? The drawing of an old-time train wreck would not download, but that describes it. It all started with none of my skating dresses fitting. My sister was kind enough to go to a dance store and buy me a skirt and a leotard. They didn't fit either. She picked up the largest they had. The leotard fit (thank you spandex), the skirt did not. I found out that the skirt didn't fit the day of the show. No worries, I added some ribbon and tied the skirt to me. Okay, crisis number 1 adverted. I arrive at the rink. Parents, stop giving every adult the stink-eye. I don't care what your kid does, really, I don't. And I don't see you on the ice, so shut up. I'm in the locker room getting dressed (I had on most of my clothes) and a mother is looking at me like I'm going to cook her kid and eat the kid for lunch. I continue listening to my music, trying my best to calm my nerves. You see, I had only skated the program twice to music and was basically making it us as I went. That proved to be a poor choice. My knees were knocking during the warmup. When a kid who didn't reach my hop did a double/double combination, I thought "this was a bad idea". But it was too late; I paid $40 and I was going through with it. The sound system at the rink (at all rinks now that I think about it) wasn't very good. I lost track of who was skating and suddenly it was my turn, but I didn't know it. In my defense, they did mispronounce my name. I pulled off my jacket, forgot to take off my gloves and skated the WORSE PROGRAM OF MY LIFE. I managed to do one jump and no spins. And when it was over, I think I took a bow, skated off, got my bag, changed my clothes went home and had a drink. When I mentioned it to my coach, she said, "well you never practiced it." Touche. This brings us to more recent events. I signed up for a competition at the end of March because I enjoy torturing myself. My music was the second movement in Fancy Free by Leonard Bernstein. My coach and I had a massive difference of opinion about whether or not I felt the music. I simply hated her cheorgraphic choices; I am not a bunny hop person. She suggested the program that was to be my free dance (had I taken the Bronze dances and were going to Nationals; I'm not). She said it was more "dancy" because I wasn't going to get many points for my technical elements (thank you for those kind words). I remembered an old program, but couldn't find the cd, so I downloaded it and cut it, badly, but cut it and sent it to her. It's slow, very slow, funeral dirge slow. I'm waiting to be told it's too fast. My next choice will be one long whole note for two minutes. I have had some confidence issues because of work, school, skating and my weight. It doesn't help to have your coach constantly tell you how good another skater is, especially when at one point, you were better than her. It doesn't help to have someone constantly ask you what you're eating. It doesn't help to have a manager tell you you're wrong all the time, even if it's not your work. I'm working very hard on improving my confidence, I just need everyone to mind their business and shut the freak up. So this brings you up to speed. I'm still here, still a lefty (have you ever tried doing footwork opposite the flow of traffic during a crowded session? It's like playing Frogger. Look it up.), still fat, still trying. "Good times and bum times, I've seen them all and my dear I'm still here. Plush velvet sometimes Sometimes just pretzels and beer But I'm here I've run the gamut, A to Z Three cheers and dammit, c'est la vie I got through all of last year And I'm here Lord knows, at least I've been there And I'm here Look who's here I'm still here" * *I'm Still Here by Stephen Sondheim from the musical Follies - 1971.

Mohawks.... Grrrrr!

I hate mohawks. There, I've said it... again. I hate them. I hate them more than I hate ice dancing. Mohawks are probably the reason I hate dancing. They suck. They suck big time. Okay, MY mohawks suck. And as a result, I hate ice dancing and mohawks. Lately, all of my Sunday lessons have been on ice dancing. The same stupid dance week after week because of my mohawks. I hate the Swing Dance. As a clockwise skater, I don't have the opportunity to use a right inside mohawk. I don't use it for a flip jump, I don't use it for a split jump... I just don't do them. Fast forward to the Silver Moves in The Field and I find myself not only having to do mohawks, but having to do OUTSIDE mohawks. That, in itself is the biggest joke of all. Just an FYI to the figure skating governing body: not everyone has turned out hips. So skating the Swing Dance more than five times in a lesson usually results in achy hips. I suppose I should stretch more often, or I can avoid doing the Swing Dance.

I Wish I Knew

It has occurred to me that in my last post, I quoted a song title in my title that approximately 0.01% of readers will recognize. "What Do The Simple Folks Do?" is from Camelot. Camelot is a musical that seems to have almost been forgotten. It doesn't seem to be produced often, even in regional theatre. With book and lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner and music by Frederick Lowe, it's a beautiful score with a song or two that you might recognize. You should give it a listen; but just the original Broadway recording, don't listen to the movie. And that is my musical theatre trivia for this post. You're welcome. Work has been taking up a lot of my time. So much so that I work weekends and should be working now. There has been no consistency in my skating time for the last three weeks. This is due to having one coach who is a technical specialist for competitions, another coach who runs the test sessions at the rink and a third coach who visited her child in college. As a result, I've been sleeping in... shhhhh.... don't tell. However, I have been skating with a lovely group of adults (with a few exceptions that I will explain in a minute). They are so talented. Jumps, spins, footwork.... they're great. And I feel that I belong in a Learn-to-Skate class. Not there is anything wrong with Learn-to-Skate classes. However, at this stage of the game, I expected to be getting better; not worse. There is major hesitation before doing anything. I look like I've just started skating and I've been doing it for years. I have no idea what's going on. And it changes not just from day to day but minute to minute. Suddenly I have trouble doing a waltz jump. Then I can land my loop. Then my salchow goes away and doesn't ever really return. I seem to have lost the ability to spin, but was hitting a decent backspin just two months ago. I can blame this all on a lack of sleep, no exercise, more extra pounds than I need, but I just don't know what's going on. I skated better when my skates hurt so much that my feet would go numb. Now? I just know what to do. Don't get me wrong, my lesson are going fairly well. I have mastered the Rhythm Blues and almost the Swing Dance. Next on the list is the Cha-Cha and something else (I'm still having timing issues with the mohawk on the Swing; it's not my favorite). I can jump, sometimes, when in lesson. My spins, which were my best element, still elude me. And I'm still working on the right forward inside 3 turn which comes and goes like Joe Turner. (Joe Turner's Come and Gone is a play by August Wilson. Read it; it's good. Non-musical theatre trivia for this post.) Once again, I blame everything on my weight. Maybe that's the issue; I don't know. I do know it's frustrating because I look like I can skate and then I try to do something and it doesn't work. It tends to all work when I get really angry. This brings me back to the other adults I've been skating with. These are the idiots who spin in the corners. Who see you doing a program and don't move for you. These are the people you ask to move over because you're about to do an element in your program there, who say "sure" and then don't move. These are the people who cause YOU to fall because they've decided to dart in front of you. These are the people who, after telling them that spinning in the corner is dangerous, almost cut you in the face doing a camel spin. These are the people I threatened to sue if I got hurt because of them. These are the people who cause parents to say, "adults shouldn't skate on sessions with kids" because they don't look where they're going and they don't think the rules apply to them. If you are one of those people, STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW! Jumps go in the corners. Spins are ONLY in the center, unless you are doing your program. No ifs, ands or buts. Those are the rules of EVERY rink I have skated in, regardless of the state the rink is located in. It's for safety and to prevent someone like me from suing you. Back when I was ice monitor, that would get you kicked off the ice. No refunds. I have music to cut since I signed up for a holiday show. Wish me luck.

What Do the Simple Folks Do?

I was watching an Instagram video (SHOUT-OUT to all the Instagram adult skaters out there!) where a woman explained her day going to the rink. It had me thinking that maybe (without the video because I pride myself on not having any images of me on the internet. How else am I supposed to hide?) I should do the same thing. So, without further ado, here are two skate days: one during the week, the other on the weekend. Weekday: 4:50am: Clock goes off. It takes me a moment to remember WHY the clock has gone off and then my other clock goes off. I usually hit snooze and drift back off for eight minutes... 4:58am: Okay, I'm up. The daily morning ritual we all go through once we're out of bed. On some days, you can hear the distant popping and cracking of various bones and joints as I will my body to do what I want it to do. This is usually accompanied by soft groans of slight discomfort. 5:12am: For those of you who don't wear make-up, more power to you. For those of us who do, I usually do "a light beat" so that I look like I've had some sleep without looking like I've spent three hours putting on make-up. 5:25am: Get dressed. This includes looking around aimlessly for 30 seconds for the clothes that I put out the night before. I have come to the conclusion that I should turn on more lights in my bedroom (strangely, there is no overhead light) so I don't waste time. My skating clothing usually consists of a pair of yoga pants from Old Navy or one of the two pairs of leggings I own (I save those for special occasions and for when I'm wearing a coat because I am not walking around in leggings in an average length tee-shirt without something more substantial covering my rear end), a girdle to support my iffy back, a sports bra because I'd rather not get a black eye, a long sleeve tee shirt and a yoga headband. The headband is because I hate having little fly-away hairs in my face while I'm skating. I am not a fan of hairspray (the product, not the musical) and I'm only going to have to re-do my hair later anyway. 5:40am: If I'm heading to my office (affectionately known as Hell, not just by me, but by many of my co-workers), I will have a change of shirts. I try to get away with wearing those yoga pants as my work pants. So far, no one has noticed. 5:50am: 6 minute walk to the subway. I think those blocks are uphill in both directions. 6:02am: The subway pulls in (if it's on-time) and I sit and try to figure out where everyone else is going this early in the morning. 6:11am: Change trains at the express station. 6:30am: With a line from the old song "Taking Care of Business" by BTO (Bachman Turner Overdrive) stuck in my head about the train being on time, I get off the subway and wait for the crosstown bus. 6:45am: I am at the rink, heading for the locker room. I usually sit at a bench near my friends, but that's only if I arrive before this little girl and her mother. For reasons I cannot comprehend, they take up the entire bench. For reference, four people fit on the bench with plenty of room to spare. The mom waits until she gets to the rink to comb the girl's hair. Shouldn't she do that at home? They live in Manhattan; they take a cab. Comb the kid's hair at home. 7:00am: On the ice, skating the one session per day I usually get to skate. Recently, I started working with my former coach on my Moves in the Field. One lesson in and I think they've already started to improve. YAY!!! 7:50am: Session is over (Yes, they're 50 minutes long. Yes, I agree, they should be longer.) I am off the ice and peeling off my tee shirt, freshening up and heading to downtown Manhattan (World Trade Center) to go to work. I am carrying a backpack with my work laptop, my toiletries, office supplies, phone, id card and wallet. My tote bag carries my breakfast, lunch, snack and lemon for my water. It also carried my other shirt and most likely a cardigan that I wear to cover up the insecurities I have about my weight. 8:50am: I'm at work. I unpack my backpack and sit in the "hotel space" or at a desk that actually belongs to my co-worker who only comes into the office once a week, but my manager thinks she's the next best thing to sliced bread so, she gets the desk and I haul my stuff like a pack mule. I only get up to get coffee, get water, go to the restroom or get a print out. I don't go to lunch. I haven't gone to lunch since I started school. According to my manager, I don't work enough hours. For the record, I never work less than 9 hours per day. 6:15pm: I start to get ready to leave. Lately, I've been doing a lot of service hours for school at a theatre where there are interpreted performances. No, I'm not interpreting, I am a volunteer for the front of house, if someone who signs shows up and needs assistance. Along with skating, this is the best part of my day. 7:00pm: Arrive at the theatre and hope someone shows up. 8:30pm: Curtain has gone up and I am finished at the theatre. I grab my stuff and walk the two and a half blocks back to my subway. Unless the NYC MTA screws up (which is a daily occurance) I should be home by 9:30ish. I've only made it twice. 10:00pm: I should work out, but I'm usually so tired that it's not happening. So I eat. I need to really stop eating when I get home that late. Sometimes when you're really tired, you eat. I should do a light workout, shower and go to bed. So, that's my skate day when I go to work. If I have class, I must leave at 4:40pm. I usually don't skate in the morning on days I have to leave early for class. Those days I arrive at work at 7:30. Weekends: If I'm skating in Manhattan, I am skating the 8:00am, but the travel times are the same because the NYC MTA likes to screw with the subways on the weekend to see if you'll tolerate having to go past the stop you need to then take a train back to that stop so you can reach your destination. I live on a local stop. The trains almost never stop there on the weekends, so I either walk to the express stop or I go back one stop to go forward several. Don't you love that? If I'm skating in Queens, the subways situation is basically the same, except that I change trains at the express stop and go upstairs to take an elevated train. For those of you unfamiliar with that term, it means the train is above ground rather than below. If you know old musicals, you know the song "New York, New York" No, not the one from the movie musical starring Liza Minnelli and Robert DeNiro entitled "New York, New York" with the song butchered by Frank Sinatra (sorry, not sorry, not a fan. Plus, he screwed up the lyrics and hits notes not found on a piano). This one is from "On the Town", the show about sailors coming to NYC for the first time during World War II. Most people think of the title as New York A Helluva Town. Anyway, there's a line "The Bronx is up, but the Battery's down. The people ride in a hole in the groun'"... That's the subway; a hole in the ground. Except for the ones that are elevated... I really went off the subject there... Where was I? Oh yes, skating in Queens. Since it's closer and a little bit later, I usually leave at 7:00am. 8:00am - Manhattan - skate the session. I have an ice dancing lesson in which I am semi-tortured by having to skate mohawks in time with the music. I am NEVER on time with those mohawks. Ugh! 8:50am: Finish skating. Freshen up. I probably have a matinee to do at the theatre, so I have brought something for breakfast with me and will hope that the snack bar opens up reasonably soon so I can get a cup of coffee. For the record, the coffee is weak. 10:00am: Try to figure out what I'm doing to kill time. Do I go shopping? Do I go to a movie? Have I brought my laptop with me? If so, I'm sitting in the rink, watching ASL videos to practice. 12:30pm: Head downtown to the theatre. 1:00pm: Stand in the lobby of the theatre and wait. 2:30pm: The show has started and I head home. 8:30am - Queens - skate the session. It's 80 minutes and I skate hard the entire session. Usually, I'm in pain. 10:00am: There is no place to go. The locker rooms are for hockey, so you know what they smell like. I debate taking the bus into the city (because it'll take longer) or just getting on the subway. The subway almost always wins. 10:40am: I'll walk around 14th Street before heading further downtown to the theatre. After that, the schedule for the theatre is the same. Going home, well it's about the same. The subway doesn't run correctly and it takes about 90 minutes to get home. I usually take a nap at that point. So there you have it. Those are my skate days.