Meet Me In The Lutz Corner... Or Better Yet, Don't

Ah the lutz corner. A "safe" place. A place where coaches teach the Bronze and Gold MIF figure eights. A place where coaches teach new moves. A place where most people practice their jumps. A place where annoying people spin. A place where newbies stay and never leave, practicing their crossovers over and over and over and over again. We all were newbies once. I remember practicing my crossovers on the center circle because trying to practice them in the corners was not only wrong, but dangerous. There was a skater who used to buzz me whenever he was setting up a jump. We're friends now; he's even apologized for being such a jerk. But at that time, my wandering into the corner to do anything other than jumping was met with that response. I recently had to tell a little girl that spinning in the corner was dangerous, even if her mother was sitting in the stands on the other side of the wall. When I mentioned it to her mother, who did not believe me, the girl skated over to her coach, who said, "why were you spinning in the corner? We discussed this." One point for me. It's difficult enough trying to set up jumps during a mixed freestyle session. It's hard being a lefty when suddenly everyone jumps in the lefty lutz corner. I haven't figured out the pattern of counter-clockwise skaters aiming for the lefty lutz corner. I may never figure it out. All I know is the area that used to be fairly clear, is now busy. If you look on the website for a few ice rinks, they will display a pattern for freestyle sessions. Toe jumps in the righty lutz corners and edge jumps in the lefty lutz corners. Also teaching in the lefty lutz corners and something called "stand still jumps". Isn't that counter-intuitive? If you want people to jump in the corners but there's someone standing there teaching or doing a stand still jump, doesn't that prevent you from jumping? There's also coaching in the center, where you spin, but that's probably for a different post. And I'm really confused about that one. Last summer at Chelsea Piers, due to the Summer School and the limited freestyle sessions (there are even fewer scheduled for this summer), there were too many people on the ice and everyone and their cousin taught in the "edge jump" corners. I took down one coach and three kids and I don't even skate that fast. Once you're in the air, all bets are off. It's survival of the fittest, or the fastest or the one with the best health insurance. This summer with fewer freestyle sessions scheduled and four tests that I need to prepare for, it's just going to be so much more fun. Hot dog, I can hardly wait. (Insert sarcasm here) There's an Adults Skate Too teeshirt that says "Meet me in the lutz corner". Why? I commented that maybe that wasn't the best thing to put on a teeshirt because it's not the smartest place to "hang out". Their response was laughter. I tried. If you're wearing that shirt, hanging in the lutz corner and you get run over, you have no one to blame but yourself. I was traveling home/work after a session recently with another adult skater, who I consider a friend. She struck a conversation with a child who had just skated the session. Please note, I do not talk to children; I'm not really a fan. My friend was talking about her experience at Adult Nationals and showing the kid pictures. The kid asked if she (meaning me) skated. Hello child. We were just on the ice together. Do not tell me how smart this kid is if she doesn't recognize someone from 15 minutes ago. Anyway, my friend said "Yes she skates, she's always in the corner and really, really slow and not very good any more. She used be fairly good, but now she's not. She used to beat me in competitions." I responded with "And I will again. I beat you the last time we competed against one another." To be honest, she fell on warmup and broke her wrist. However, whiskey-tango-foxtrot, what was that? How dare you? I would never have said those things about her or any other skater. I was shocked and angry and determined. That was on a Tuesday. On Thursday, I worked with my coach and jumped all over creation, even cut her off twice (I don't usually cut anyone off on purpose; I did then.) I mentioned this to my coach, who suggested that we work harder so as to shut her up. I still consider this woman a friend, even if she refuses to believe she's ever wrong (I've proven her wrong several times and she just doesn't acknowledge it) and has been playing the same damnned CD for warmup music since last summer and we are all so bloody sick of it that if I were a different type of person, I would take the CD and break it into a million pieces. This is a woman who will take off someone else's warmup music if she doesn't recognize the songs to put on a CD that none of us can stand any longer. I have made CDs to play for warmup. The last time she tried to take mine off, I told her that no one wanted to hear those same 11 songs we've been listening to for almost a year. Well, you gotta have friends. Adult Nationals have come and gone, once again, without me. I was upset; still am, kind of. I want this to be the last AN without me. Next year's Easterns is in Florida, not my favorite state (the humidity, the heat) and AN is in Salt Lake City. I have four tests to take: Silver MIF, Silver freestyle and two Pre-Bronze dances. All of this during the summer when there are 200 million people on a freestyle session. Don't hang out in the lutz corner; chances are I'll accidentally run into you.