Wobbly, Wobbly, Can't Do Squat

My new nickname should be Wobbly, Wobbly, Can't Do Squat. The hemorrhaging of my skating skills continues. Wednesday night was a continuation of Saturday. I felt so bad for Amy, I kept apologizing. I felt awful. It got so bad that we ended up doing spirals, as that was the only skill I could do without making a total mess of it. It was incredibly disappointing. It has been the kind of skating that would leave me in tears, if I were still able to cry. Instead, I solder on, believing that my skills will return to me once they have finished their vacation. Seriously, come back Shane! On Friday, I finally made it back to the rink in Bethpage. I thought, "okay, my skills are lacking because I haven't been practicing." Off to practice I go. Unfortunately, my skating skills are still on vacation. The practice was a disaster. How bad? A man asked me if I had just learned to skate because I was struggling so much. When I replied that I usually skate better than this, he obviously didn't believe me. Another session I would usually cry over. No longer being able to try (it's psychological, not physical) has its advantages. No matter how upset I am, no one will see me cry. Works for me. This morning's lesson with Amy resulted in a lot of apologizing on my part. Things I could do last month are gone like a plastic bag in the wind. We spent most of the session doing edges and crossovers, which I hate doing but understand the reasoning behind it. It doesn't make it any easier to spend a freestyle session working on skill I learned years ago. But since they appear to have gone, I'm almost okay with it. After all, what is your coach supposed to do when you are unable to perform the simplest of skills? Sometimes, if I don't think too hard, I am surprised by a jump or a spin that actually works. Sadly, it's not often. I am confident that things will improve, that they'll change. I need to lose weight, to get healthy, to get back the confidence I once had. It's a long road ahead and I know it'll happen. In the meantime, have you seen my lovely spirals?