Two Steps Forward, Five Steps Back

Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water. The club had an end of year party, which for once, I decided to attend. Any member who medaled at a major competition was invited to do an exhibition. Needless to say, I announced and did not skate a program. I witnessed some wonderful skating and at least two artistic programs I'm still trying to figure out. During the party afterwards, I met up with my coach. I briefly mentioned that a local rink is holding a competition in August and I'd like to do it. I figured, the more I'm out there, the better it is for me. My coach said that was a good idea, and then asked if there was a showcase or artistic competition because a technical competition wouldn't be a good idea because I wouldn't do well in a technical Adult Silver Ladies competition. Wow. In a week I went from being champ to chump. Once again, I was speechless. I believe I mumbled something like "I'll see" and walked away, hurt. Am I that bad? Why waste my time then? Years ago, I played the flute. I loved playing the flute and would practice as much as I could. I auditioned for colleges with my flute in hopes of being a "pit musician" on a Broadway show. While in college, as an un-official music major (because the chair of the department had to approve your major), I was told by my college music professor that I simply would never be a music major at this school, much less a pit musician because I was just not that good. I could practice forever, but I just wasn't good. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I did. I put my flute down and never picked it up again. If my skating is that bad, I wish my coach would tell me to just stop, put my skates down and return to tennis or softball (or even lacrosse). If I'm that bad, stop giving me hope and then dashing it against the boards. I'm pretty tough; I can take it. Instead, I'll spend the three weeks I have to decide about the competition to skate as much as I can. That will be hard, as I am dog sitting. If a friend (with dogs) asks if you like dogs, just say no. If not, you will be spending 2 weeks watching someone's dogs (and 15 birds) in their house while your own life is left in the "pause" position. The only pluses: It's 20 minutes from work and not far from my Friday night rink. That last one is a plus AND a minus. I will never get used to skaters throwing spins in all over the rink. I couldn't find a show lyric to fit this situation. Maybe because most musicals are supposed to make you feel uplifted, not like you've been kicked in the back pocket.