I Can Work With This

Prior to receiving the news that I was being laid off (which was a blessing in disguise), I signed up for an intensive ASL class at a local college. I was evaluated and placed in the highest level. Unfortunately, not enough people registered for the class, so I stepped down to the next lower level. The teacher and I are almost at the same signing level; the other students are three levels below me. It's going to be a long summer... Back to skating. While I still don't know what the deal is with my feet (although I've had two people tell me they think it's all in my head. No, it's in my FEET!!), I was able to skate 99% of the session today without doubling over in pain. The pain is not as intense as it has been for the past few weeks, so I am able to skate. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a good thing because there are early morning Public Session that this woman needs to attend. I figured I can go Monday through Thursday because most camps will show up on Friday. Today I practiced many of the Silver MIF. My back inside three turns are still not clean and usually in the wrong place, but they do look like three turns and they are the correct size (they used to be about the size of large cantaloupes). A step in the right direction. I'm not sure how many I'm supposed to skate on each size, but today I had three forward and three backwards. I was also pleasantly pleased to report four successful back spins. Three revolutions each, but, I'll take it. Considering that I land on my left foot and that's the foot that hurts so badly, I was surprised to land every jump I tried: salchow, loop, toe loop. I stopped at that. Have I ever mentioned that I'm extremely competitive? With two older sisters who are both prettier and much more talented than I am, I became very competitive at a young age. That being said, I still feel a tinge of jealousy when I see another adult skater, taking lessons from my coach, who is working on higher elements. Okay, my Silver MIF need help, but my free skating is pretty solid when not in pain. It's confusing to me to watch someone who cannot spin work on flying camel spins. Can't land a loop jump working on axels while I spend so much of my lesson stroking. As soon as my feet feel better (or at least when I find out why they hurt), I'm going to ask to work on harder elements. Personally, I must say I'm tired of working on Silver MIF. And it is so dog-gone HOT in NYC!!! "Summer, not a bit of breeze Neon signs are shining Through the tired trees. Lovers walking to and fro. Everyone has someone And a place to go..." **Night Song from Golden Boy (yes, it is a musical too. Originally starring Sammy Davis Jr as a boxer... Go figure.) Music by Charles Strouse; lyrics by Lee Adams.

So What Happens Now?

First of all, I want to thank everyone who wished me well in my new unemployed state. So far, I've managed to remain positive. However, it has been under one month. On to skating. I am wondering, seriously how long I will be able to do this. The pain from my left foot has traveled up my leg toward my knee. Now, my right foot is suffering from the same problem that has plagued my left. It hurts to walk, it hurts to skate, the pain wakes me up during my five hours of interrupted sleep I get per night. Sometimes the pain is so bad, I wish I could pass out to make the pain stop. My doctor's appointment is either the 22nd or the 29th; I'm not sure which. This pain is causing a problem with day to day activities, but is really trying to throw a wrench in my skating. Today's session consisted of me spending a lot of time sitting down because I couldn't stand. When I was able to skate, I was unable to perform a right over left forward crossover due to pain. Since my right forward inside 3 turns are weak, we worked on those as part of MIF. The left back outside 3 was really painful and difficult to perform. Somehow, I managed to squeak out one dozen of the worse looking back outside 3 turns known in skating history. Am I watching my plans and goals for the summer slip through my fingers? One of the positive things about being laid off is being able to skate more. I can't skate more if I can't stand on my feet. Wonder if this has anything to do with my weight. Duh! I was able to do some spins, but for reasons I can't comprehend, my right knee began to throb making it difficult to step into a spin (I'm a lefty, remember?). Four scratch spins and five camel spins later, the session and my body was finished. I had tears of pain in my eyes and really, really wanted to pass out from the pain. Instead, I walked with Amy to the subway while extremely nauseous. Point of reference: I am nauseous a lot during the summer months; I don't deal well with the heat, never have. As a kid, I always had to wear a hat to keep the sun off of my head. I also wear sunscreen every single day. What would I do if I couldn't skate any longer? How would I fill my hours? What would become my physical passion? I'm a writer and an ASL Interpreter student, but both of those activities are sedentary. Skating is my physical passion now that I'm no longer on my college softball team (I was a center fielder; could throw from center field to home plate with a two hop step. Thanks Daddy!!!), and I wasn't even first, second or third string on that team (I was a left-over, never got to play a game, just in practice). I have so much I want to achieve before it all has to end. And I really don't want it to end like this. "So what happens now? (Another suitcase in another hall) So what happens now? (Take your picture off another wall) Where am I going to? (You'll get by, you always have before) Where am I going to? (Don't ask anymore.)" *** *** "Another Suitcase in Another Hall" from Evita. Lyrics by Tim Rice; Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber