Accountable

I had an interview today for a company I can only describe as a Ponzi Scheme. It might not be, but when I left the two hour presentation, my stomach hurt and not because I hadn't had any coffee. If a company you have never applied to, calls you up and tells you you're exactly what they're looking for, but doesn't really tell you the name of the company, proceed with caution. Migraine headaches prevented me from skating on Monday and Tuesday. My Wednesday night lesson was canceled and it's raining cats and dogs here in NYC. The next ice day will be Friday since I have an appointment with Unemployment to determine that I am indeed looking for work. As a side-bar: it's sometimes very depressing to be unemployed after so many years. I have again returned to monitoring the sessions on Sunday morning. This past Sunday, I got ten whole minutes on the ice. I must find somewhere to purchase a whistle; I can't keep screaming "CLEAR THE ICE!!!" every week. I asked a coach (not mine) how to pass my MIF. He said he hadn't really seen me skate in years, so he didn't know. I mentioned that due to back issues, I had a problem twisting on the back inside three turn. His response? "How much twisting do you need to do with your back? Turn your foot." He then told me he has the same problem with his back (degenerative joint disease) and to "suck it up". Well DAMN! I have been schooled!! This also brings me to something I saw on TV today. A woman always wanted to be a cheerleader for the New Orleans Saint football team. After three (I think) kids, an incurable kidney issue, and being 40 years old, she tried out for the squad. She got a call-back and then another. Long story short, she made the squad and is now the oldest cheerleader for The Saints. What's my point? I have no real excuse. I may have a creaky back, but I can stand. I may not have a job, but I have a roof over my head and enough money to pay my bills and skate. Public sessions early in the morning aren't crowded, I can get used to that. And not being inside my home all day will prevent me from eating everything in sight. I'm trying to be more accountable and have fewer excuses. If I can dream it, I can achieve it. "Throw me a rope to grab on to. Help me to prove that I'm strong. Give me the chance to look forward to sayin': "Hey. listen, they're playing my song." "Play me the music. Give me the chance to come through. All I ever needed was the music, and the mirror, And the chance to dance..." ** **The Music and the Mirror from "A Chorus Line" Music by Marvin Hamlisch. Lyrics by Edward Kleban.

But Alive

My Thursday night freestyle session is no more. The rink sold the ice time to hockey. Surprise, surprise, surprise. Off to another rink: World Ice. A facility that shares space with a swimming pool. One day, I will get my courage up and try again to learn to swim. Yes, I know, most people CAN swim. And no, it has nothing to do with race; it has more to do with opportunity. While most kids were learning to swim at camp, I was either at Church Camp, or in theatre camp. There's no swimming in Church Camp (bathing suits can be sinful) and in theatre camp, I was too busy learning lyrics, dance steps and lines. On to skating... The session before I skated was the Power Skating session. Every single little girl on the session skated the session I was on. It was like they were hyped up on sugar. Arms and legs were flying across the ice, and sadly, not one of them had any control whatsoever. I have never figured out why a coach would teach a skater an axel when she can't hold an outside edge, do a three turn or stroke properly. But what a great looking axel she has! Arriving at the rink 40 minutes early allowed me the opportunity to actually warm up before skating. What a novel concept! Performing exercises to warm up my aching muscles so I don't end up in so much pain that it hurts to take a breath! Someone alert the media! Somehow, even with arriving 40 minutes early, I got on the ice 5 minutes late. Hmmm.... Before I go any further, I would like to say that 99% of the skaters on the ice did not look where they were going. How bad was it? Two crashes; I had nothing to do with either of them. There was a near-miss involving me; a girl skated right at me while looking back at her parents. I moved; she hit the wall. Left back inside three turn, you have met your match and I am she!!! Yes, that's right. My left back inside three turn has returned, and it is never leaving me again. Ha ha!! I have found you!! Right back inside three turn, you are next. I have my eye on you! And you, backspin, we will meet again soon. And I will be triumphant!! I have the position, I have the hook, I have one revolution. It is a matter of time before I have you in my hands... or feet. I think I may start to tape my practices. All of this progress left me limping from pain, unfortunately. I wonder if my foot pain is gout. I don't know anyone with gout, so I must rely on the internet to determine whether that's what it is. I mention it only because my foot has been throbbing for three hours and no amount of ice is helping. This Sunday is the send-off party to those little ones going to North Atlantics. They get to do their programs snd then attend a party. I get to announce their names. Since I have all this time off, I believe I will go to the $5.00 daily public session. It starts at 9:00, so it eliminates many people who have to be somewhere else. Who knows? I may be telling you about my right back inside three turn next week. One last thing: coach said I was too good a skater to allow back three turns and outside mohawks to prevent me from taking a passing this test. A vote of confidence!!!! Now I dance!!! "I feel groggy and weary and tragic Punchy and bleary and fresh out of magic But alive, but alive, but alive! I feel twitchy and bitchy and manic Calm and collected and choking with panic But alive, but alive, but alive!" But Alive from "Applause". Music by Charles Strouse. Lyrics by Lee Adams.