Accountable

I had an interview today for a company I can only describe as a Ponzi Scheme. It might not be, but when I left the two hour presentation, my stomach hurt and not because I hadn't had any coffee. If a company you have never applied to, calls you up and tells you you're exactly what they're looking for, but doesn't really tell you the name of the company, proceed with caution. Migraine headaches prevented me from skating on Monday and Tuesday. My Wednesday night lesson was canceled and it's raining cats and dogs here in NYC. The next ice day will be Friday since I have an appointment with Unemployment to determine that I am indeed looking for work. As a side-bar: it's sometimes very depressing to be unemployed after so many years. I have again returned to monitoring the sessions on Sunday morning. This past Sunday, I got ten whole minutes on the ice. I must find somewhere to purchase a whistle; I can't keep screaming "CLEAR THE ICE!!!" every week. I asked a coach (not mine) how to pass my MIF. He said he hadn't really seen me skate in years, so he didn't know. I mentioned that due to back issues, I had a problem twisting on the back inside three turn. His response? "How much twisting do you need to do with your back? Turn your foot." He then told me he has the same problem with his back (degenerative joint disease) and to "suck it up". Well DAMN! I have been schooled!! This also brings me to something I saw on TV today. A woman always wanted to be a cheerleader for the New Orleans Saint football team. After three (I think) kids, an incurable kidney issue, and being 40 years old, she tried out for the squad. She got a call-back and then another. Long story short, she made the squad and is now the oldest cheerleader for The Saints. What's my point? I have no real excuse. I may have a creaky back, but I can stand. I may not have a job, but I have a roof over my head and enough money to pay my bills and skate. Public sessions early in the morning aren't crowded, I can get used to that. And not being inside my home all day will prevent me from eating everything in sight. I'm trying to be more accountable and have fewer excuses. If I can dream it, I can achieve it. "Throw me a rope to grab on to. Help me to prove that I'm strong. Give me the chance to look forward to sayin': "Hey. listen, they're playing my song." "Play me the music. Give me the chance to come through. All I ever needed was the music, and the mirror, And the chance to dance..." ** **The Music and the Mirror from "A Chorus Line" Music by Marvin Hamlisch. Lyrics by Edward Kleban.