I Wish I Knew

It has occurred to me that in my last post, I quoted a song title in my title that approximately 0.01% of readers will recognize. "What Do The Simple Folks Do?" is from Camelot. Camelot is a musical that seems to have almost been forgotten. It doesn't seem to be produced often, even in regional theatre. With book and lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner and music by Frederick Lowe, it's a beautiful score with a song or two that you might recognize. You should give it a listen; but just the original Broadway recording, don't listen to the movie. And that is my musical theatre trivia for this post. You're welcome. Work has been taking up a lot of my time. So much so that I work weekends and should be working now. There has been no consistency in my skating time for the last three weeks. This is due to having one coach who is a technical specialist for competitions, another coach who runs the test sessions at the rink and a third coach who visited her child in college. As a result, I've been sleeping in... shhhhh.... don't tell. However, I have been skating with a lovely group of adults (with a few exceptions that I will explain in a minute). They are so talented. Jumps, spins, footwork.... they're great. And I feel that I belong in a Learn-to-Skate class. Not there is anything wrong with Learn-to-Skate classes. However, at this stage of the game, I expected to be getting better; not worse. There is major hesitation before doing anything. I look like I've just started skating and I've been doing it for years. I have no idea what's going on. And it changes not just from day to day but minute to minute. Suddenly I have trouble doing a waltz jump. Then I can land my loop. Then my salchow goes away and doesn't ever really return. I seem to have lost the ability to spin, but was hitting a decent backspin just two months ago. I can blame this all on a lack of sleep, no exercise, more extra pounds than I need, but I just don't know what's going on. I skated better when my skates hurt so much that my feet would go numb. Now? I just know what to do. Don't get me wrong, my lesson are going fairly well. I have mastered the Rhythm Blues and almost the Swing Dance. Next on the list is the Cha-Cha and something else (I'm still having timing issues with the mohawk on the Swing; it's not my favorite). I can jump, sometimes, when in lesson. My spins, which were my best element, still elude me. And I'm still working on the right forward inside 3 turn which comes and goes like Joe Turner. (Joe Turner's Come and Gone is a play by August Wilson. Read it; it's good. Non-musical theatre trivia for this post.) Once again, I blame everything on my weight. Maybe that's the issue; I don't know. I do know it's frustrating because I look like I can skate and then I try to do something and it doesn't work. It tends to all work when I get really angry. This brings me back to the other adults I've been skating with. These are the idiots who spin in the corners. Who see you doing a program and don't move for you. These are the people you ask to move over because you're about to do an element in your program there, who say "sure" and then don't move. These are the people who cause YOU to fall because they've decided to dart in front of you. These are the people who, after telling them that spinning in the corner is dangerous, almost cut you in the face doing a camel spin. These are the people I threatened to sue if I got hurt because of them. These are the people who cause parents to say, "adults shouldn't skate on sessions with kids" because they don't look where they're going and they don't think the rules apply to them. If you are one of those people, STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW! Jumps go in the corners. Spins are ONLY in the center, unless you are doing your program. No ifs, ands or buts. Those are the rules of EVERY rink I have skated in, regardless of the state the rink is located in. It's for safety and to prevent someone like me from suing you. Back when I was ice monitor, that would get you kicked off the ice. No refunds. I have music to cut since I signed up for a holiday show. Wish me luck.

What Do the Simple Folks Do?

I was watching an Instagram video (SHOUT-OUT to all the Instagram adult skaters out there!) where a woman explained her day going to the rink. It had me thinking that maybe (without the video because I pride myself on not having any images of me on the internet. How else am I supposed to hide?) I should do the same thing. So, without further ado, here are two skate days: one during the week, the other on the weekend. Weekday: 4:50am: Clock goes off. It takes me a moment to remember WHY the clock has gone off and then my other clock goes off. I usually hit snooze and drift back off for eight minutes... 4:58am: Okay, I'm up. The daily morning ritual we all go through once we're out of bed. On some days, you can hear the distant popping and cracking of various bones and joints as I will my body to do what I want it to do. This is usually accompanied by soft groans of slight discomfort. 5:12am: For those of you who don't wear make-up, more power to you. For those of us who do, I usually do "a light beat" so that I look like I've had some sleep without looking like I've spent three hours putting on make-up. 5:25am: Get dressed. This includes looking around aimlessly for 30 seconds for the clothes that I put out the night before. I have come to the conclusion that I should turn on more lights in my bedroom (strangely, there is no overhead light) so I don't waste time. My skating clothing usually consists of a pair of yoga pants from Old Navy or one of the two pairs of leggings I own (I save those for special occasions and for when I'm wearing a coat because I am not walking around in leggings in an average length tee-shirt without something more substantial covering my rear end), a girdle to support my iffy back, a sports bra because I'd rather not get a black eye, a long sleeve tee shirt and a yoga headband. The headband is because I hate having little fly-away hairs in my face while I'm skating. I am not a fan of hairspray (the product, not the musical) and I'm only going to have to re-do my hair later anyway. 5:40am: If I'm heading to my office (affectionately known as Hell, not just by me, but by many of my co-workers), I will have a change of shirts. I try to get away with wearing those yoga pants as my work pants. So far, no one has noticed. 5:50am: 6 minute walk to the subway. I think those blocks are uphill in both directions. 6:02am: The subway pulls in (if it's on-time) and I sit and try to figure out where everyone else is going this early in the morning. 6:11am: Change trains at the express station. 6:30am: With a line from the old song "Taking Care of Business" by BTO (Bachman Turner Overdrive) stuck in my head about the train being on time, I get off the subway and wait for the crosstown bus. 6:45am: I am at the rink, heading for the locker room. I usually sit at a bench near my friends, but that's only if I arrive before this little girl and her mother. For reasons I cannot comprehend, they take up the entire bench. For reference, four people fit on the bench with plenty of room to spare. The mom waits until she gets to the rink to comb the girl's hair. Shouldn't she do that at home? They live in Manhattan; they take a cab. Comb the kid's hair at home. 7:00am: On the ice, skating the one session per day I usually get to skate. Recently, I started working with my former coach on my Moves in the Field. One lesson in and I think they've already started to improve. YAY!!! 7:50am: Session is over (Yes, they're 50 minutes long. Yes, I agree, they should be longer.) I am off the ice and peeling off my tee shirt, freshening up and heading to downtown Manhattan (World Trade Center) to go to work. I am carrying a backpack with my work laptop, my toiletries, office supplies, phone, id card and wallet. My tote bag carries my breakfast, lunch, snack and lemon for my water. It also carried my other shirt and most likely a cardigan that I wear to cover up the insecurities I have about my weight. 8:50am: I'm at work. I unpack my backpack and sit in the "hotel space" or at a desk that actually belongs to my co-worker who only comes into the office once a week, but my manager thinks she's the next best thing to sliced bread so, she gets the desk and I haul my stuff like a pack mule. I only get up to get coffee, get water, go to the restroom or get a print out. I don't go to lunch. I haven't gone to lunch since I started school. According to my manager, I don't work enough hours. For the record, I never work less than 9 hours per day. 6:15pm: I start to get ready to leave. Lately, I've been doing a lot of service hours for school at a theatre where there are interpreted performances. No, I'm not interpreting, I am a volunteer for the front of house, if someone who signs shows up and needs assistance. Along with skating, this is the best part of my day. 7:00pm: Arrive at the theatre and hope someone shows up. 8:30pm: Curtain has gone up and I am finished at the theatre. I grab my stuff and walk the two and a half blocks back to my subway. Unless the NYC MTA screws up (which is a daily occurance) I should be home by 9:30ish. I've only made it twice. 10:00pm: I should work out, but I'm usually so tired that it's not happening. So I eat. I need to really stop eating when I get home that late. Sometimes when you're really tired, you eat. I should do a light workout, shower and go to bed. So, that's my skate day when I go to work. If I have class, I must leave at 4:40pm. I usually don't skate in the morning on days I have to leave early for class. Those days I arrive at work at 7:30. Weekends: If I'm skating in Manhattan, I am skating the 8:00am, but the travel times are the same because the NYC MTA likes to screw with the subways on the weekend to see if you'll tolerate having to go past the stop you need to then take a train back to that stop so you can reach your destination. I live on a local stop. The trains almost never stop there on the weekends, so I either walk to the express stop or I go back one stop to go forward several. Don't you love that? If I'm skating in Queens, the subways situation is basically the same, except that I change trains at the express stop and go upstairs to take an elevated train. For those of you unfamiliar with that term, it means the train is above ground rather than below. If you know old musicals, you know the song "New York, New York" No, not the one from the movie musical starring Liza Minnelli and Robert DeNiro entitled "New York, New York" with the song butchered by Frank Sinatra (sorry, not sorry, not a fan. Plus, he screwed up the lyrics and hits notes not found on a piano). This one is from "On the Town", the show about sailors coming to NYC for the first time during World War II. Most people think of the title as New York A Helluva Town. Anyway, there's a line "The Bronx is up, but the Battery's down. The people ride in a hole in the groun'"... That's the subway; a hole in the ground. Except for the ones that are elevated... I really went off the subject there... Where was I? Oh yes, skating in Queens. Since it's closer and a little bit later, I usually leave at 7:00am. 8:00am - Manhattan - skate the session. I have an ice dancing lesson in which I am semi-tortured by having to skate mohawks in time with the music. I am NEVER on time with those mohawks. Ugh! 8:50am: Finish skating. Freshen up. I probably have a matinee to do at the theatre, so I have brought something for breakfast with me and will hope that the snack bar opens up reasonably soon so I can get a cup of coffee. For the record, the coffee is weak. 10:00am: Try to figure out what I'm doing to kill time. Do I go shopping? Do I go to a movie? Have I brought my laptop with me? If so, I'm sitting in the rink, watching ASL videos to practice. 12:30pm: Head downtown to the theatre. 1:00pm: Stand in the lobby of the theatre and wait. 2:30pm: The show has started and I head home. 8:30am - Queens - skate the session. It's 80 minutes and I skate hard the entire session. Usually, I'm in pain. 10:00am: There is no place to go. The locker rooms are for hockey, so you know what they smell like. I debate taking the bus into the city (because it'll take longer) or just getting on the subway. The subway almost always wins. 10:40am: I'll walk around 14th Street before heading further downtown to the theatre. After that, the schedule for the theatre is the same. Going home, well it's about the same. The subway doesn't run correctly and it takes about 90 minutes to get home. I usually take a nap at that point. So there you have it. Those are my skate days.

Yeah.... Right....

Part of me can't get past the fact that Hollywood is remaking West Side Story. It's a movie of that time; I can't imagine how badly they will screw it up. On to skating. My out-of-town skating friends think I should drop Amy as a coach. She has close to zero confidence in my skating, hence, all the dance lessons. When I began skating, I was told that if you can't jump, you dance. If you can't dance, you do synchro. This is not necessarily true, but those words circle my brain every single dance lesson. I'm told I have a great line for dance. Lovely. Doesn't that mean I also have a great line for freestyle? I've spent a lot of time dancing; my freestyle has suffered because of it. The ability to step into a spin seems to elude me. I used to be able to spin in a half tied skate and now, I can't even step into one correctly. I'm going to blame this on my weight and lack of core strength; it makes me feel better. Rather than busting my bottom to finish the pre-Bronze dances so I can go to Nationals, I've decided not to go. I want to go to Nationals, but on my terms and my terms include a freeskate program. I'll do the solo freedance, but I will also do a freeskate. I'm not traveling to wherever, just to do a program I don't want to do. And if I never pass my Silver Moves or Freestyle, then so be it; I'm out. You have all heard me complain about how much I dislike ice dancing. I made a deal with myself to finish the pre-Bronze and after that, no more. I hate right inside mohawks (heck, I hate mohawks), it's impossible to get through a dance on most of the sessions I skate and music... UGH! Who picks that stuff? It's awful. I like old music, don't get me wrong, but it's two steps away from organ music of the 1950s. So the pressure is off for April and Nationals. There are two competitions I would really like to do. I will send my music to Marc and see if I have a vote of no-confidence from him. Meantime, I am looking for better and tolerable ice dancing music: Rhythm Blues and the Swing Dance. Until next time...

Feelings... Nothing More Than Feelings...

My last post was written about three weeks ago but I had forgotten to click "publish". Since I had already written it, I figured I should just post it. Haven't we all had those moments when we thought "this relationship isn't working out and we should break up"? And then we decide to try to make it work. Here I am, trying to make it work. Skating, like so many other things in life, has its ups and downs. You can do element X on Tuesday, but it disappears on Thursday and doesn't return until the next month. It's frustrating. It's heartbreaking. Sometimes it makes you want to chuck your skates into the nearest body of water, walk away and not look back. You're constantly being told not to compare yourself with someone else, but when you see others who started after you who have improved and gone on to pass you by, you can't help but feel a little sad, frustrated, angry, hopeless... whatever. When things do work correctly, you are dancing on a cloud, the euphoria is intoxicating. But when you least expect it, the rug is pulled out from under you and you literally fall on your backside. Getting up and trying it again sometimes causes a different result. And the feelings start all over again. I am unsure what will stop this daily roller coaster of emotions, euphoria and frustration. Skate more sessions? Stop thinking so much? Lose 65 pounds? Well, probably that one, yes. Try to stop comparing yourself to others? An international adult competition will be held in Lake Placid, NY next month without me. So many competitions have come and gone without me. I am wondering when I will return to the level I was at just a few years ago. I believe I will return to that level. Until that time, I will keep on trying. There's an adult competition in Washington DC I'd like to do. If I can simply get the confidence of both my coaches, I would appreciate it. I'm trying to be optimistic and not as negative as usual. I'm also trying to accept Ice Dancing; still not my favorite thing in the world. My goal for the next two months is to get back to where I was when my skates killed my feet; I could skate, I could jump and spin, just not for long. That's my goal. I've grown tired of buying tickets and not attending the show.

Maybe We Should Break Up

Lately, skating has become like that boyfriend whom you love, but doesn't love you back. You give and give and give and you get nothing in return. Sometimes I think we should break up. Summer is nearly over and what do I have to show for it? The steady progress I was making in skating has taken a hiatus after a nasty fall on my knees. How nasty? After years of skating, I have purchased knee pads. I found them on a dance website and thought I'd give it a try. They seem thin, yet padded enough to dance knee slides and knee turns. Great, non-evasive. The second rink at Chelsea Piers has finally finished the renovations. After enduring weeks of sessions with over 30 skaters and 18 coaches, a second rink will come in handy. There's something a little crazy about 30 skaters of different levels on the same ice at 7:00am. This one is doing double axels while this one is doing bunny hops. Soon it will be over. However, with or without extra people on the ice, my skating has collapsed. I am stopping myself when jumping, I can't seem to step into a spin and the mandatory mohawk in the Swing Dance is never on time with the music. Recently, I took a week off from skating with the hope that I would return with a clearer head. No such luck. My skating is just as bad today as it was when I took the time off. Maybe we should break up. Usually, I have a game plan prior to arriving at the rink. My outlook is relatively positive and I have a list of things I plan to work on. With 30 skaters on the ice, those plans usually go up in smoke. So much so that I have never successfully skated the Rhythm Blues. Nope, not once. I'm sure a lot of my issues are dependent on my weight. Everything seems to be about my weight so much so that I'm sick of talking about it. I even watched a video about teaching a camel spin to a kid who had no core strength to try to incorporate those tips into my own camel spin. It didn't quite work. Maybe we should break up.

Summer!!!

To quote an old Alice Cooper song, "School's Out for Summer!" I am free!! It's been a very difficult year. One sister had surgery, the other sister got hurt because of all the work she did for our move. We moved. I failed a class and by fail, I mean I didn't get a B or better, which is what you must achieve to not fail the class. I grew to really hate my job because no matter how hard I tried, I was always wrong. (I'm talking about something that was right on Tuesday, was now wrong on Friday. Same thing; different day.) I became incredibly depressed, thoughts of suicide flooded my head. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to eat. And well, everything suffered. I told my manager how much I hated working there and if she wanted to fire me, she could. Then she realized that my co-worker was going into the hospital for an extended period of time and I was it. That and whatever was going on in her life may have settled down. I don't know. I do know that I'm looking for another job. So, skating. Strangely, my deep depression didn't really hamper my skating. If anything, not eating seemed to help. I am landing jumps again and being much bolder. I still have a long way to go to return to my earlier skills (and by earlier I mean before I purchased these particular skates). However, it's slow and steady. What has happened since our last discussion? I, the reluctant ice dancer, took my first two Preliminary Dances: The Dutch Waltz and the Canasta Tango. I passed! I took the test during a freestyle session. As my jump coach Marc, who is also partnered me through the test, guided me through the test, we got off pattern because an adult male skater thought the best place to work on his axel was the track. The judge congratulated me on avoid the skater in the track. HA! Meanwhile, I have been choreographing my new program. I really want to skate that international competition in Lake Placid this October. How much? I'm on an eating plan, a workout plan and I practice as much as I can. I am doing spin, kettlebell, stretch and a 30 day 100 ab exercise challenge. I already have the dress; heck, I have a dozen dresses, purchased for competitions I ended up not doing. THOSE DAYS ARE GONE! On another note, my coach is so concentrated on these stupid dances, that I haven't had a lesson on my moves in months. Oddly, they're getting better because I practice them and use them as a warm up before dancing or jumping. My spins had gone to visit other people because of my lack of core strength. But that's improving. I will on the ice tomorrow and promise to try not to be away so long. I need to get these moves so I can test them and prove a point to myself: that I can. Meanwhile, I have to make a salad, with oranges, because I don't get enough vitamin C.

Freestyle

Back in the dark ages when I first started skating, I finished all of the levels of group lessons and wanted more. I had private lessons during public sessions and then my coach suggested that I skate the early morning patch and freestyle sessions. I was a young adult and thrilled that this extremely strict coach thought I was good enough to skate those sessions. I couldn't wait to sign up. The Skating School Director had reservations. In order to skate the freestyle sessions, I had to prove my worth. Basically, I had to audition for the privilege to give a rink my hard (very hard) earned money. So, there I was, on the ice, demonstrating that I could do all the necessary basic moves of crossovers, turns, stops and freestyle moves of jumps and spins. Although they had their doubts because I was and still am a lefty, they reluctantly gave me permission to skate with the good skaters on freestyle sessions. The young skaters who skated with me on the ice, spent the first month or so, landing jumps as close to me as they could to see if I would flinch. I stopped flinching and skating near the boards when I received my first program about three months later. I bring this up only because yesterday, I skated a session where there were ten skaters who could not skate at all. Not just freestyle, I mean not at all. Zero. Zip. Nada. I'm talking marching, walking and tripping across the ice. And generally just being in the way. What happened to having to know how to actually SKATE before being on a freestyle session? Sessions like that are just expensive public sessions with programs being played. UGH! My fellow adult skaters and I took down several of these skaters, not on purpose (kinda) because we'd be doing something and suddenly BANG! There they were. I had lined up a jump, stepped forward and totally didn't see that little boy OR his sister. Amazing how easily they go down and pop back up. So, what happened to having to know how to skate prior to being allowed to skate a freestyle session? Is it now all about money and safety be damned? Years ago, a kid kept spinning in the corner, her early trials of a camel spin. A male skater, probably a senior in high school, tried three times to do a jump in that corner. Finally, he got angry, caught her free leg and said, "Don't spin in the corner." She never did again. Where is that guy now?

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Computer

Back in December, of LAST year, I started a post about where the time had disappeared to. Well, now it's April and I'm just getting back to that post. Seriously, where DID the time go? So here's what's been going on... 1. School is kicking my butt. You must get a B in a class in order to go on to the next level. I got C in one of my classes, so I have to repeat that class. (I can continue with the other classes, just not that one until next autumn) As a result of getting a C in my Interpreting class (I also have theory classes), the confidence in my signing skills is not what it used be. I hesitate before I sign now, something I never did before. My interpreting teacher (who is hearing) said flat out that I wasn't very good. This is the same woman who evaluated me for the program and accepted me. WHATEVER!!!! Ironically, in my theory, taught by a Deaf professor, she thought I was a CODA (Child Of Deaf Adult) and had been signing my whole life. Seriously whatever... 2. Work: Since my classes are after work, I have arrive to work early and I leave early. My manager actually said, "I don't care if you never make it to school. It has nothing to do with your job so I don't care." Well thank you. So I don't mention school at all. I did mention the comment to Human Resources though. And I'm trying to transfer to another department. 3. And now finally skating. Let me just say that EVERYTHING is easier when you weigh less. I've lost a few pounds; nothing to write home about, but I can feel it in my bones (which still kinda hurt from the extra weight). My jumps are returning; I need to make them bigger. Marc, my jump coach, said I was too tall and too long legged to have little hoppy jumps. He's right. So I'm working on making them bigger. My salchow has never been my favorite jump; still isn't. But it has returned, along with my toe loop and loop jump. My flip jump, which used to send me into extreme pain, if I can just stay in, is a really high jump. I haven't tried a lutz yet, but I feel it coming. Spins were something that were natural to me. I guess being slightly dizzy naturally made them easy. I need my core strength to get my spins back because they have gone to visit other people and have not returned. I am, however, getting not one but TWO revolutions on my back spin about 22% of the time. Two of the three Preliminary dances are ready to test. Poor Marc, my jump coach, gets to take me through those dances. Now, all I have to do is remember the re-start, not look down and remember to breathe. So easy and yet so hard. 4. My sisters and I have moved. It was HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Probably one of the worse moving experiences I have ever had. Mostly because I am a slob. And according to one of my sisters, I have too much stuff. I work in an office, have to dress daily (well I do work from home on 2 of those days) so I cant wear jeans to work everyday. I have to dress in business clothes, not suits, but acceptable business attire. During the move, I kinda stretched that a bit and it was noticed that some of my outfits weren't exactly work appropriate. But I'm settling into my new, much smaller bedroom. I can make it work. 5. Exercise. I have returned to working out. I can get some core strength back; I'm determined. I didn't go to Adult Nationals again this year. Amy has basically abandoned my MIF test for ice dancing. She has no confidence that I will ever pass a Silver MIF or freestyle test, hence Marc. I have reached out to my old teacher who can fix anyone's moves to make them pass. She's a bit cranky, but she gets the job done. I need to practice more. Not this weekend; it's Easter. Next weekend, I can skate on Saturday and Sunday and I will. Gotta cut my music for a program so I have something to aim for. It is not ice dancing, which I do for stamina and flow, but it's not very interesting and I'm not really a fan. That's about it for now. Sorry I've been MIA for so long. Need to set up my desktop because my laptop is only for school. I have a video to do for school and about 4 hour of work for work to do. Yes, I bring work home and do it over the weekend. It's the only way I can keep up. Also, if I don't my manager will send me a nasty email on a Sunday morning at 6:30 asking why something wasn't done. Yes, you read that correctly. Sunday morning. 6:30. Until next time...