Frustration and Determination

One of the groups I follow on Instagram suggested posting ten adult skaters you follow. I viewed everyone's picks and after watching all of the videos, I felt 1000 times worse about my skating than I did the day after I severely sprained my ankle years ago. I felt better when I failed my driving test. I felt better after having to have surgery. In short, I felt awful. I know some of these people and they are improving by leaps and bounds. They started after me and they have left me in the dust. I don't need to follow these people to feel this awful. If I look around during a freestyle session, I can SEE them in person. Hey you, guy with the curly hair, who started a year ago, during the pandemic and now working on an axel, thanks! And you, working on your Gold Moves when I remember when you first showed up at the rink. Thanks to you too. Although you're told not to compare yourself with anyone else, it is difficult not to do so. You see someone who six days ago was struggling to stay upright and now they're doing triple jumps. It hurts. It hurts and you can't figure out why. Not that I'm asking to be as great as Ashley Wagner, Alissa Czisny. Nope. I want my ability from six years ago. Yes, we are all older, but I'm more appreciative and I would really appreciate being that good again. Meanwhile, I'm back to off-ice training. Back to healthy food choices. Back to daily cardio, weight training and stretching. And with all of that, I will be back! On a totally separate note: Stephen Sondheim, genius of musical theatre went home recently and joined his good friend, producer/director Hal Prince and mentor, lyricist Oscar Hammerstein II. Very few people can say they do not know any of the wealthy musical catalogue that was Mr. Sondheim. Some know of West Side Story, Into The Woods and Sweeney Todd, while some know of Follies, Assassins, Anyone Can Whistle, Passion, Merrily We Roll Along, Company, Pacific Overtures, Sunday In The Park With George and A Little Night Music. Regardless of what you know, a brilliant man has graced each one of us with his talent and his passion. Please do not say "So sorry for your loss" because we have ALL loss someone absolutely unique and superb. The heavens have gained another giant from the theatre and we who are left are all the better for having known him through his creations. If you have the opportunity and if PBS will air them again, go watch Company. Or Passion. Or Sunday In The Park With George. Or Into The Woods (not the movie). Or Sweeney Todd (again, not the movie) There you will see the pure genius that is Stephen Sondheim. If possible, listen to the Original Broadway Cast recordings where you will hear every ounce of passion written into every song, knowing that you are listening to the person and the voice the song was written for. That's what he did and he did it brilliantly. We will miss you Mr. Sondheim. Your wit, your style and flair, your ability to write a complicated underscore, your unconventional manner of ending a song, your ability to take a subject that no one thought would "sing" and make it sing. We will miss the projects you weren't able to finish and always wonder what might have been. "What's hard is simple, what's natural come hard Maybe you could show me how to let go Lower my guard, learn to be free Maybe if you whistle, whistle for me."* Thank you Mr. Sondheim. *Anyone Can Whistle" Music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim -1964

Ramblings

Yesterday, I found out a coach at my rink passed away. Impossible, I thought. I just saw her. But no, I last saw her in August and she did indeed pass away. Where does the time go? Today, a co-worker who I really enjoyed working with, left my team (we have teams at my job, like we're all playing Center Field for the NY Mets) and moved over to another team where previously another co-worker moved to. I'm sure it's a lighter workload and after eighteen months of working on my team (which I do not "own". I am a worker bee, not the queen) she saw the opportunity and grabbed it. Can't say I blame her, but I'll miss her just the same. Yes, she still works for the company, but I will miss seeing weekly pictures of her cats dressed up in baby clothes. Don't ask. I have not been keeping to my skating schedule lately. Between coaches out of town, headaches and just general ennui, I have been skipping sessions left, right and center. I have continued working out, but I think my diet might be contradicting the efforts of a 30 minute workout. Maybe I need more sleep. Maybe we ALL need more sleep. How is it that Daylight Savings Time only generates more sleep for the first two nights and then your body gets used to it and you aren't getting that additional hour? Recently, I saw a posting on Instagram about a tee-shirt for sale online that said "Meet me in the Lutz corner". I replied, "No, stay OUT of the Lutz corner. That's not a place to congregate." They wrote back: "He he." He he?? What is it about the Lutz corner? Is it the big red circles that aid in finding your center when practicing your eights for the Bronze and Gold Adult Moves in the Field tests? I have never seen anyone allowed to do those figures on the red circle in the corner, so I'm a bit confused as to why everyone practices it there. Suddenly everyone places their jumps in the lefty Lutz corner, another thing I don't understand. Between someone laying out a figure and someone else doing jumps, I can't figure out what is so attractive about the lefty Lutz corner. Please don't say no one uses it because apparently, they do. Outdoor rinks will be opening soon and I can't wait to wave so long to the kids who spin in the lutz corners. Some rinks allow that; there was a rink in Westchester where you spun in the corners opposite from the Zamboni. That made no sense to me because... well just because. Spinning in the corners or in the track are hazzards. And they're in my way. Next week I will make every effort to skate my four days. I was thinking about doing two sessions on one or maybe two days per week. For now, one step at a time: I'll get up for a practice session. Or three...

Comfort

Sometimes, I don't understand other people's logic. I was watching a video on YouTube about an adult's progress in skating. Good for her. She had just about mastered the mechanics of forward crossovers when the pandemic shut down the world. So she decided to continue working on quad skates (or rollerblades). Great. So what does she post? Herself attempting axels off-ice on the ground. Honey, you can't do a backward crossover or ANY jumps. Why would you try to do an off-ice axel? What is the logic? "I can't drive a car, but I'm going to enter the INDY 500"? I suppose since she didn't try it on the ice (yet) it's okay. I see these types of skaters everywhere. It doesn't help when their coach is having them try things beyond their skill set. Can't hold a back outside edge? Here, try doing counters and rockers. Can't land a Salchow? No worries, this is how you do a double flip. Can't do a two-foot spin? That's fine; try a flying camel. Maybe I'm too logical. Recently while skating, I stopped to catch my breath. I was in the "peak" zone for my heart rate and was sweating quite nicely. A coach to whom I only say "good morning" to suggested that I get out of my comfort zone. My reply was "okay" with a mental shrug. "You need to get out of your comfort zone and get fit. You are not fit." He then suggested his off-ice program on Saturday mornings. I mentioned that the only day I really sleep in is Saturdays to which he told me that I "don't want it enough." He repeated that I was not fit and suggested that I toughen up. Well, damn. I wonder what he would have said if he actually KNEW me. "You're a slow-ass cow who needs to move her pork-butt faster on the ice and take more risks"?? I cannot imagine. This is a coach who pushes his students way beyond their skill level. This is good and bad. Good because they have very little fear. They fall on a regular basis, get up and try again. Bad because they also get hurt. I've seen some injuries I can't comprehend. Most of the skaters with those incomprehensible injuries are never seen again. What price glory? Yes, we all should step out of our comfort zone. Take that leap of faith and try. We'll fall. We'll fail. We'll curse. 70% of the time, we'll try again. 30% of the time, we'll try something else. Life is about taking a risk, a calculated risk. I cannot swim, so I won't try to do the Ironman Competition. I can ride a bike and although I hate it, I can run. Two out of three; not bad. But I still will not sign up for the Ironman Competition. I can skate; not like Ashley Wagner, but I can do some stuff. Every session, I try to push myself a little harder. Jump higher. Go into a jump faster. Stop looking down. Decrease the travel on a spin. Increase the revolutions on a spin. Remember the pattern of a dance (okay, still having a hard time with the Swing Dance and I haven't learned the other one... what is the name of that one... Not the ChaCha... Oh well...) But every session the comfort zone is pushed back, even if it's just a little.

One Moment In Time

I have just paid for my membership to a new skating club. My old skating club was disbanded and I feel as though I've lost a friend. When I began skating, I tried to join my current skating club and was told they did not accept adult skaters as members. Fast forward to June and they are welcoming me with open arms. How the tables have turned. My old club was like that old movie "The Bad News Bears"; a rag-tag group of decent to pretty good skaters who never got a break. We never won major competitions, we never even placed, but we had some talented skaters. We were our own little family and we always joined together to do what we could to help one another. When I was short on funds, the club understood and let me pay off my sessions. I was the fill-in Ice Monitor until the club Vice President arrived. I would open up the club room and boil water so anyone who came in could have hot cocoa or tea. The number dwindled and the City of NY sold the building, tearing down the rink. Yes, another rink was built in its place, but it wasn't the same. The club sessions were gone. The Vice Presidenent and her family moved away. The club became a shadow of what it once was. There were so few members that I registered my family for membership, even though no one skated except me. I kept my deceased mother's membership valid for two years after her passing to keep the club going. A few years ago, when I checked, the club had three active, competitive members and I was one of them. The club president moved away and the club has been dissolved. I can still hear the laughter from the club room, the smell of cocoa. I can still feel that wobbily feeling one got when they landed a jump a little too close to what we called the "bullpen". It was a strip of ice that dipped down significantly, but it wasn't near the Zamboni, it was near the penalty box. I remember our holiday parties and the club Vice President and how sweet and kind she was. My old friend who moved away, got married and no longer speaks to me because her husband (who met me once) doesn't like me. Practicing jumps on the subway platform and spraining my ankle. None of the people who I skated with at those sessions are still on the ice. The kids have grown up and off of the ice. Ths coaches have have either retired or moved on and in at least two cases, passed away. It was a special moment in time for which I have no pictures or videos. We were all too busy living the moment to document it in any way, shape or form. Now I have a new skating club. One with prestige, a pedigree and former National Champions. It's great to be a part of something big, but I can't help but miss my Monday and Friday night sessions with that crazy gang. Wherever you are my former club-mates, I wish you well. "I want one moment in time When I'm more than I thought I could be When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away And the answers are all up to me Give me one moment in time When I'm racing with destiny Then in that one moment of time I will feel I will feel eternity..." One Moment in Time by Albert Hammond and John Bettis

Summer Skating

To those of you who have normal freestyle sessions, congradulations. You post on Instagram and Facebook (and I suppose TikTok but I don't view TikTok) and I salivate while watching sessions with normal amounts of skaters on the ice. Lately, my sessions look like this:

And that's on a good day. Ice rinks still aren't open for public sessions, so some of those people have found a way around that. Purchase your own skates and skate at the Coffee Club. Being able to skate is not a prerequisite, apparently, judging from the Coffee Club session I skated. Money, your own skates and a pulse were the prerequisites. Oy vey, what a mess! It's back to mornings and only mornings. Too bad, I rather liked sleeping in two days a week. However, it is better to wake up early, actually skate and go to work, than to throw money out the window, get frustrated and spend as much time traveling 13 miles as I did skating on the ice. Once again, thank you MTA. It's such a joy to wait 28 minutes for a train down on the platform in July. On a positive note, my three turns are improving. I wasn't able to skate my moves without interruption, but the pieces are slowly coming together. Also, I found a skating club that does virtual tests that I will probably try. Not now, because I'm no where near ready, but if they keep doing virtual, I'm thinking October/November. Speaking briefly about TikTok because I just looked at it. When you put "Adult Figure Skating" into the search, the results consist of figure skating, but not adults. And everything and everyone is Russian. That's odd. I must be doing something wrong, but I'm not that interested in TikTok, so it's okay. That, of course leads me to my issue with kids on an adult skating site. Come on people. Post little Suzie and little Fred doing quad jumps somewhere else. I have off-ice to do tonight at 9:00 before bed. Apologies to my downstairs neighbors.

Yesterday's Gone

Several years ago, a man in my sign language class told me that you couldn't exercise away a bad diet. He was a personal trainer, in incredible shape and a former actor. I'm not sure what he's doing now. He left the city to go away to college as a 25 year old, and while I attempted to stay in touch with him (it was the suggestion of another person in my class, who was in touch with him), he never responded to my emails. He responded to hers and now that I think about it, it's kind of creepy because she was still in high school and he was over 25. However, he didn't play for her (or my) team and I probably just shrugged it off at the time. It was his loss because I am an interesting person. Where was I? Oh yes, bad diets and exercise... I mention Evan (I think that was his name. Maybe it wasn't... it's been a while...) because I have recently discovered that time and fat wait for no man or woman. I have engaged in some form of exercise, whether it is weight training or cardio, every day for the last 70 days. What have I discovered? If I don't change my diet or at least my portion sizes, absolutely nothing will change. My clothes fit the same. I may feel stronger, but I look the same. I fight with three pounds every week. Three pounds up, three pounds down. Does it make any difference? Absolutely none. There was a time when exercising would help my weight loss without changing my portions. "But that was yesterday,and yesterday's gone." (1) With 70 consecutive days of working out, I guess you could say it's become ahabit. First thing in the morning on non-AM skate days, I work out. If I have a migraine, I do yoga. Anything as long as I keep moving. I especially enjoy days when I skate in the evening because I workout in the morning, work and then skate. It's the best of both worlds. Except between the heat causing the sessions to be canceled (the rink is on the roof of a warehouse) and the sessions being sold-out, the combination of workout and skate hasn't happened as often as I would like. Tomorrow is another day with no mistakes on it, yet. When all else fails, brush yourself off and say, "I'll try again tomorrow." 1. "But Yesterday's Gone" written by David Stuart and Wendy Kidd.

Onward and Yonward

In order for that to make sense, you have to watch the PBS show Nature Cat. I passed my ChaCha after only knowing it for about a month. I passed with a +1, which really surprised me. Since I had to go to work (from home), I didn't even stick around to see if I did pass. My coach sent me a text with a screenshot of the papers. I'm guessing he has them, but it's okay if he doesn't. I'm taking a break from ice dancing until after the summer. Summers at that particular rink is a zoo anyway. They cram all level of skaters onto one ice surface while 3 people skate the Summer School on the other rink. No, it doesn't make sense. But right now, you're trying to figure out Nature Cat and why a grown woman with no kids watches that show. I also like Peg + Cat and on occasion Arthur, but I can't stand DW. I participated in a Figures Workshop. It was nice to skate figure eights again; it was very telling. I was good at figures back in the day. My back serpentine was probably a little smaller than it should have been, but I got around it. My three turns were just a hair off where they should have been placed, but not so much as you would notice, if you weren't a judge. Anyway, there I was with ten other skaters, quietly enjoying the workshop. Three things came to mind: 1. If I twist too soon on my forward inside three turns, my body is going to DO that three turn wherever I am. I need to wait. 2. I need to hold the position on my back outside three turns and again, not move my arms until right before I want to turn. Gotta keep working on those abdominal muscles. 3. Figures were an excellent foundation. I could feel what I was doing wrong, which I couldn't with Moves In The Field and I was able to correct it. Is it perfect? Not yet, but I now know what I was doing wrong, so it's a start. My jumps are improving... slowly. A bit slower than I would prefer. But an improvement is an improvement. I had stopped doing off-ice workouts, but I need to return. Hopefully, it will assist in improving my jumps and spins. I've also been watching a few YouTube videos on off-ice training and using a spinner. I can never get more than 1 1/2 revolutions on my spinner. Hopefully with those videos, I can figure it out. Summer sessions began, aka The Zoo. Twenty-five skaters of different levels, all crammed on one surface. It's madness. Currently, Adult Nationals is going on... without me. I'll be there next year. I still have a Moves in the Field test and freestyle test to pass. I may even try to pass my pre-Bronze dances so I can compete in Solo Dance. As I mentioned last time, I belong to a few adult skating forums and follow #Adults Skate Too on Instagram. Recently, there has been a lot of posts that have nothing to do with adults, or skating. Again, I don't care if little Coco landed her quad Salchow. When she turns 25 and has just relearned it after not skating for 10 years, we'll talk. I also don't want to see some former Olympian, who was 15 when the video was taken two years ago in #Adults Skate Too. I don't care. I said it before: adults worked hard to get a seat at the table. Don't post what doesn't belong. Good for the kid; but I don't care. This brings me to several recent posts. Unfortunately, the word "adult" appears in Adults Skate Too. So naturally, there are several posts of scantilly clad men and women, posing for the camera. Good for you; you are all very fit. But it's still the wrong forum. When I commented that the forum was for adult skaters, the poster wrote back (yes, this is a quote) "haha! Too bad, don't know english!" I enjoyed watching the progress of my fellow skaters, but between the kids and the sexy photos, if it continues, I'll have to unfollow. It only takes one or two people to ruin it for everyone...

Adult Skating Webgrouups

I passed my last Preliminary Dance test one day last month, or the month before. I've now forgotten when. I'm supposed to take the Cha-Cha on May 18th... I think. I'm having some trouble remembering the steps, perhaps because I learned it two weeks ago. Two evening sessions were added at one of my rinks back in March. I was thrilled. I could leave work early, go to the rink, skate a good freestyle and return home. It was great the first week. Had some timing issues the second week. More people arrived on the third week. Now that freestyle session should be renamed Learn to Skate. I have nothing against beginners or people in Learn to Skate. However, since this was supposed to be a freestyle session, I have no desire to pay "freestyle money" for a Learn to Skate session. And yes, I understand that people want to skate; that outdoor rinks have closed; and where are they supposed to go without public sessions. Yes, I comprehend all of that. However, if I'm trying to do a jump (in the corners because that's where they belong!!!) and I have to skid to a sudden stop because there's a kid who has absolutely no concept of what a cirle is and he's doing a forward outside 8 on the red dot, using the hockey lines, I'm going to be annoyed. I am going to become downright angry when I move over, still trying to get that jump in, and same kid has decied to also move over once kid sees me coming. I am going to want to scream when I have tried said jump 9 times and same kid is now doing forward inside 8s on that damn hockey circle. Add to that a group edge class filled with people who are beginners and have control issues, kids who decide wherever they are is where they will do whatever they're doing, four or five skaters who refuse to move regardless of what you're doing, a coach using the overhead jump harness, two people in helmets, four skaters trying to get through their programs and the mother of the kid on the hockey circle who never turns her head to see if anyone is coming and you have the evening sessions. Actually, imagine the worse public session you have ever skated, place all the people in hockey skates in figure skates and subtract the ice guards. THAT is what those evening sessions have become. Complaints by coaches and skaters alike have been in vain. It was fun while it lasted. Back to mornings. And since I'm on a bit of a rant, I need an explanation. I belong to several adult figure skating groups on Instagram and Facebook. Why are people posting pictures and videos of their kids skating. Congratulations to the kids, but to be honest, I don't care. These are adult figure skating groups and we fought to get a seat at the table, to receive respect and inclusion at competitions. When I see something that says ADULT figure skating, I do not want to see a 9 year old landing a quad jump. I want to see an adult, hence, the name of the group. If you find it necessary to post your child's progress, do it on your own page. Don't post your kid's progress on an adult skating page and then sit back and wait for everyone to say "oooh.... how great". I know some of these posts are from coaches who are also adult skaters. Frankly, I still don't care. Post on your own page. Leave the adult skating pages to adult skating.

Zero Chill Review

Dear Netflix: Please do SOME research! Here are some things you should know before watching Zero Chill, the new teen Netflix show that is as fresh as a landfill: 1. There are 15 ice rinks in England (not including Ireland and Scotland) 2. There are over 100 rinks in Canada 3. Hockey is not a big sport in England a. The leagues keep changing, hence the lack of interest 4. No one would move to England for hockey. No one. And certianly NOT from Canada. 5. Female skaters rarely practice in a dress and when we do, it usually isn't all sparkles. 6. Finding a Pairs partner is hard, really hard. And sometimes impossible, regardless of how taleneted you are. 7. If you're going to break into an ice rink (which is much harder than it looks), you'd turn on the lights. At least SOME lights. Placing two dozen flashlights on the ice to practice is just stupid, to say nothing of dangerous. 8. Similiar pairs is only accepted in a few situations: The Gay Games; The Ice Skating Institute; show programs at some competitions. Can you just decide you're going to do similiar pairs at a "run of the mill" competion? You can try. The referee will blow the whistle and you will be disqualified. 9. Hockey skaters and figure skaters NEVER practice at the same time. Can you imagine it? Jumping, spinning, dodging hockey pucks... 10. The figure skating outfits look like someone went to a 1980s garage sale, looked at all the sparkles, shiny material and beads and said, "Yep, that just SCREAMS 2021!" This show is so awful it took ten days to finish watching one episode. And to think I felt Spinning Out was bad. However, I will never figure out how those skaters drank so much and still were able to get up in the morning to practice... All you need to do is some research. Go to an ice rink, ask questions at a club session or a freestyle session. Then ask questions during a hockey session. Then hire decent writers... It's Netflix, I'm asking too much. Zero Chill is the correct title for this crap because it's a zero.

STOP!!!!!

Coaches out there, please stop. If your student can't hold a back edge, please don't have them work on back three turns! I don't want to see the carnage. On Friday, I watched a skater in lesson fall so many times MY body began to ache. She could barely hold a forward edge, and had no back edges at all, but her coach was having her work on back three turns, After the third fall, I could no longer look in her direction. I've witnessed too many accidents while skating (such as someone stabbing their shin with the back of their blade while doing a double lutz) that I don't want to see any more. If you're going to have your students go above and beyond what they are qualified to do, please wait until it's on a session I am NOT on. I have not taken a first aid class this year and I prefer not to be forced to rely on what I remember from 2019.

Huh??

So, I'm at the rink that is always entirely too cold and as a result, my back ends up hurting. Be that as it may, I was skating a session, concentrating on my MIF and I adjust where my path because a Coach 1 is working with a student and has veered her student into me twice already. I move more to the left and so does Coach 1, who, by the way, is looking at me the entire time. Huh?

I move. Just as an FYI, a more seasoned coach is working with a student as I fly past doing a dance. He moved his student and waved as I went past. I'm just saying. So the Coach 1 is working with her beginner student on forward outside three turns. What I notice is that her arms are pre-rotated, which after you have fairly good three turns is something you can work with. For this adult student, the pre-rotated arms are causing her to turn into herself and almost do a spin. I'm confused, but say nothing. Off to jump. As you know, I'm a lefty. I usually jump in the lefty lutz corner, this way, I'm free and clear of other skaters. Or I used to be. Now EVERYONE jumps in the lefty lutz corner, seriously. Why are you doing that? We spend so much time trying to find a spot to jump, must you take ALL the space??? Anyway, I'm jumping in the lutz corner, minding my own business and wondering why it's so freaking cold in the rink, when Coach 1 skates over with her student to do what? Waltz 8. Did I mention that there were seven skaters on the ice? SEVEN. Three other corners to work on a Waltz 8. But NOOOOOO. Pick the only corner where someone is actually jumping. I move over so my jumps are in-between the two corners. What did Coach 1 do? She moved her skater to now jump in-between the two corners. I shot Coach 1 the stink eye

and moved again. Trying to collect my thoughts, I am at the boards and I glance over at Coach 1 with the adult student who is also a lefty. The student is working on back three turns. Great, I think, except she can't hold a back outside or inside edge and has rocked too far back on her blade causing her to do that crazy dance with the arms flying about more than once. I look away in case she falls back off her heels. Happily, she doesn't. Next Coach 1 has moved on to backspins. Better to learn them now, rather than later. Then to jumps. She has her student, her beginner student working on Salchows, Toe Loops, Loops, Flips and Axels. Yes, you read that correctly. A skater who cannot hold a back edge of any kind is working on axels.

Okay. As I was about to do my spins, the skater's lesson was over and she moved to the center of the ice to chat with another skater. I continued spinning. They were bemoaning struggling with loops. Not loop jumps, LOOPS! Am I the only person who sees that this may not end well? Am I the only one who really doesn't want to have to use her First-Aid training (skated at this very rink four years ago where a hockey skater in the studio rink fell funny and broke his ankle)? I do not understand some coaches. Some hold you back for no reason and squash your plans because they think it will reflect poorly on them. Others push you along knowing that you can very well hurt yourself. Surely there is a happy medium. Coach 1 is NOT the happy medium. I will remain silent, but confused. And hopeful that the office downstairs has bandages...

Decisions.... Decisions...

Received an email the yesterday that Adult Easterns has been canceled. Ten minutes later, I received another email telling me that Adult Nationals will be in June. So, if I bust my behind and pass both my Moves In the Field test AND my freestyle test, I can go and skate Silver.... I'll have to get back to you on that.

So, what should I do? I thought, why not train and prepare like I am trying to take two tests and see what happens in May. I may actually make it. And if I don't, all I've done is prepared myself for the future.