Hmmmm......

Public transportation is iconic to NYC. Without it, the city would grind to a halt and most people would stand around wondering how to get from points A to B.

That's been happening almost every weekend in NYC. "Track work" has caused almost every subway line to re-route to a slightly different course, resulting in most riders having to scramble, leave early or do some extra walking. I don't mind walking. I don't mind leaving earlier. However, when a 45 minute trip to the rink takes nearly 2 hours, I mind.

I have been getting to the rink later and later, and leaving to travel earlier and earlier. Sometimes, it's the Long Island transportation that is causing the problem. Signal trouble, congestion ahead, whatever. All I know is, when I'm supposed to be on a 5:32pm train to get to Manhattan at 6:20, I don't want the train to arrive at 5:45 and not arrive in Manhattan until 6:40. I, like everyone else in the world, have someplace to go.

The subways have been working my last nerve too. Last weekend, it took 2 hours to get to the rink. Most of that was waiting for the crosstown bus. I would have walked, but it was pouring rain and I was shielding an older woman whom I didn't know, with my umbrella. I could have just given her my umbrella, but I didn't want to leave her in that downpour waiting alone. I'll take some of the credit for being late to the rink on that one, but not all of it.

What are you doing MTA? And why are you messing with my ice time??

That being said, I am now forced to wonder: can your feet shrink?

For the past week, I have noticed more space than usual in my skates. Maybe I'm not lacing them tight enough, but I can now lift my heel in the back. If you are a skater, you know that you should NEVER be able to lift your heel. Oddly, I seem to be able to compensate for the extra movement because it's not really effecting my progress. Every time on the ice, I improve a little. Consistency seems to be the nemesis at this point because what I could do on Sunday, I can't seem to keep for Monday or Wednesday. Oh, let's be honest, Wednesday.

That brings me to another issue: I haven't made it to my Monday morning session in like, ever. The session begins at (please sit down for this) 6:00am. It's in Long Island, not far from work. Yes, I would get to work really, really, really early on Mondays (and beat my boss in so I don't end up getting the "stink eye" when she gets in before me...), but it means getting out of my house at 5:00 to drive there. And since I've never been there, I'm not sure I won't get lost. (One day I will explain my direction issues, my GPS not working in my car and my general hatred for getting lost.) I have the directions, I just don't seem to have the motivation to get up. All I would/could do at that unsociable hour is Moves in the Field and back spins. I have to be awake to do more than that and at 6:00, I'm not awake.

Since I have decided to re-dedicate myself to the sport of figure skating, I need to get off my duff. Plus, I've put so much money into this sport, I feel I just should. I'm really not a bad skater, just a slightly undisciplined, under-trained skater. I used to have so much discipline. I didn't date because I wanted to be on the ice. (Was I crazy? Now I can't get a date!) I was on a constant diet, didn't drink, went to bed at 9:30 and worked out for no less than an hour every day. All while still working a full-time job. I was an adult doing this people, not a kid being driven to the rink by my parents. I've had the will, the discipline, the drive. Now I just need to get it back.

It's Thursday and I could have brought my skates in to skate after work, but I chose not to. Mostly because my feet are swollen. Don't ask why, I have no idea. Instead of skating, I will be icing my feet, trying to figure out why they hurt all the time. I suppose I could give up my heels, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

As far as my skating is going, I am still pleased. I am occasionally amazed when something goes really, really well (like my back spins yesterday) just as I am annoyed when it doesn't. The sessions are still entirely too crowded, no one seems to realize that I too am working here. There's a really obnoxious 20 year old on my Wednesday session who seems to take pleasure in skating really close to an adult skater who isn't moving as fast as she can. She's a good skater, too bad she's such an unpleasant human being. I take that back; she's very nice to people she considers to be a good skater. However, all in all, things are still going well.

I'm off to ice the balls of my feet in hopes that the swelling will go down. I plan to skate a session on Saturday night and I need to figure out why my skates feel so big.

See you on the ice.

Welcome Spring!

So, spring on the east coast of the US has finally arrived!! With the arrival of spring comes the closing of outdoor skating rinks. Boo hoo! With the closing of those outdoor skating rinks comes the masses of skaters to the indoor rinks. And with those skaters come some of the strangest skating manners/habits I've ever seen.

Feel like spinning in the track? Go ahead. You've been skating at an outdoor rink that didn't really have a track, so do what you want. Everyone else on the ice will simply have to go around you. Want to jump in the center? Ignore the "program right of way" rule? Have a long conversation with your friend about the Twilight series? By all means, enjoy.

Skating rink, want to place 37 people on a session that's only supposed to have 22? Hey, feel free! Who cares if someone gets hurt because a skater decided to do a back spiral? Everyone has 3 inches of ice to call their very own. Isn't that enough? No? Wow, who knew?

Happily, this usually only lasts for a few weeks before things settle down again. The last 2 sessions I skated before I had to go away for a business trip had 32 and 37 skaters respectively. I think I'm still trying to finish my Moves In the Field on that last session...

By the way, has anyone seen my scratch spin? It took a short vacation and is still traveling, literally. I start that spin in NY and finish it in FL. I know, I know, abs, abs, abs!

Speaking of abs, my drive to and from work is 40 miles round trip. Mind you, they are in the "opposite" direction of rush hour. Yeah, right. When there is no traffic, the commute takes about 30 minutes. There is ALWAYS traffic!!! By the time I finally get home, I have NO desire to go to the gym. Mostly, I'm just hungry. And since I cook dinner, I stay home and cook. Then I get on the computer. This is not helping me. (I hate my commute!!!)

This is a problem. I need, no I MUST go to the gym and work out. I actually LOVE working out. Spin class is my favorite and I never make it to that class any longer. I wanted to take a yoga class (actually, I did once and it was soooooo past advanced for me that I had to leave the class!) or a Pilates class, but I feel so out of shape. Ugggghhhh!!!!!!

Add to this, I'm supposed to compete in early June. The program is a short artistic program, which isn't very hard. There are only two problems: 1. I have NO stamina, cough non-stop and feel like a hippo. 2. I brought a WHITE dress to wear. What was I thinking?? Can I get away with wearing a trash bag instead?

I still need to lose weight. I have to gain the stamina to get through a 94 second (that's right, a little over a minute and a half) program. Why don't I have the stamina to get through a 1:34 second program? Damn you Phil, my cough!

I'm rambling. I've been off the ice and without a lesson for a week thanks to work. I cannot be off the ice for that long.

Just found out that a rink in NJ is having an Adult Skating Week. I will not be attending for a few reasons: 1. It's a bit pricey. 2. It's in NJ. 3. They picked the same week that the rink in NY had planned on doing an adult skating week. NY would have worked better for me. Plus, I am reminded of my disaster of last year's adult skating weeks...

The Adult Nationals were this past weekend (I was at a meeting for work). I had the opportunity to watch some of the competition online. I so wish I could have been there. However, I still haven't passed my Moves in the Field test and I've failed the freestyle test twice.

I have a lot more work to do. I need to get off my duff and just do it.

Just do it. Say, that sounds like it could be a catch phase for a shoe company...

Rain, Rain, Go Away....

If you read my very first post, then you know I have a chronic back issue. It's called degenerative joint disease, but I prefer to call it "Sal". Previously, Sal took residence in my spine and decided that this was a great place to live. And there Sal has lived for years, renting with the option to own.

Lately Sal has been joined in the apartment complex of my body with "Gerri". Gerri is my chronic upset stomach. Gerri is my chronic nausea, which oddly, is helping me to lose weight. However, if you've ever suffered from this annoying condition, it loses its appeal really early on. Several trips to the doctor later and I know that Gerri is caused by stress because my stomach is fine.

At the beginning of fall and spring, "Phil" likes to come and visit. Usually Phil doesn't stay long, just long enough to give a bone rattling, crap filled cough that makes most people run from me. Phil arrived in October and decided to stay a while. Phil is still here. Occasionally, just to mess with me, Sal, Gerri and Phil join forces. Phil will cause me to cough very hard, making post-nasal drip fall into my stomach, annoying Gerri and Sal will go out because Sal feel neglected.

With all of that going on, I am still skating and still improving. Last Wednesday, I fell several times, more times than I have fallen in an entire year. What did I learn? I over-rotated one jump and under-rotated another. Don't forget to check your arms going into that turn. Keep your head up. Bend your knees. Relax into the move. Just do it.

This past Sunday, I awoke to go to the rink with Sal at a level 8.5 (I gauge my pain on a 10 point scale). I decided to go anyway because usually after warming up, I forget about the pain until the session is over. Plus, I had another lesson and really didn't want to miss it because work will keep me off the ice in the middle of the month (grrrr!!!).

My timing was off. I was tilted in the air. I fell, again and again. I knew exactly why (see the beginning of the paragraph). Sal had decided to try and show me who was boss. I ignored Sal for most of the session, but then Phil showed up too. I tried to skate my program and ran out of air 3/4 of the way through. All I could do was cough and cough and then Gerri wanted to be remembered and I thought everything I had not eaten was going to make a return appearance. Happily, it didn't. However, when I tried to do one last spin, I couldn't place all of my weight on my back left inside edge for the crossover. I was surprised as this hadn't happened in years. I had to admit defeat to my coach, who, (bless her) said I had done a good job anyway. While she was telling me what I should practice, I had to lean on the boards because I really couldn't put much weight on my left leg.

This brings me to the title of this particular blog: Rain, Rain, Go Away. If it would just stop raining so much, my bones and lungs would "dry out" and I could go on with life. I could stop limping and stop eating crackers.

However, even with Sal, Gerri and Phil, I am skating and I am improving, so, I am happy.

But just in case.... "Rain, rain, go away. This skater wants to go out and play...."

Working My Way Back

Something happened. Something not expected.

I decided to ask my coach if she could give me another lesson every week. Instead of one lesson per week, I'd have two. That meant, unfortunately, another session with the rude rich kids who can only do an element in the exact same spot every single time. Oh, who cares about them? Anyway, she was available on Sundays (there goes going out on Saturday night... yeah, like I do that!) and I said okay.

Well, after several false starts, something happened on a Wednesday evening session.

I could skate. And I could skate well.

My jumps returned. I had speed, I had flow, I had confidence. And I didn't notice the other skaters. I made a decision to jump and jump I did. Were you in my way? Sorry, didn't notice you. Was I in your way? Too bad, I was in lesson and had the right of way.

It was amazing. It was freeing. It was skating.

Best news, it appears to be hanging around. Every week, my confidence is better, my skating is stronger. There is no concrete reason for this to have happened, except my belief and my faith. If this offends you, don't read this. I am proud to say, my prayers to God were answered.

My joy of skating has returned. Now if the weather would cooperate a bit more, I could get to the rink for more practice. Darn that rain causing the highway to flood...

It is my plan to compete in June in a small, local competition. I did the same competition last year and came in 2nd out of 2. I prefer to say this rather than I came in last. This means I have to get back on my eating plan and skating more often. I'm looking forward to beating the woman who won last year, even though she is a friend. Plus, I have a new dress!

Skating tomorrow and looking forward to it . Look out world, here I come!!

Welcome Back. Did You Miss Me?

It has taken me months, yes months, to get over the anger I felt in Lake Placid. Thanks to all of you incredibly impolite people, I have dyed my hair a darker brown and will probably darken it yet again, so I won't have to deal with your looks. But it's Lent and I'm trying to be a better person than the ones I have to deal with.

I am still skating. No, it's not going as well as I had hoped. Seems the session I have a lesson on is filled with kids. Spoiled, rich kids who can only skate their elements in the exact same place and cannot deviate even slightly to the left or right. I mention this only because I was in the air when I heard the sound of a screeching "EXCUSE ME!!!" from a girl who was not on programme but had to do her double flip right where I was about to land. Land I did, much to the chagrin of the girl, who sucked her teeth and stomped her foot. Very bad ice manners. If I did that every time someone was in my way, I'd spend the entire session doing it.

I am a bit discouraged that skills I had in June, first LP trip, have gone away. They disappeared in August, but I refuse to discuss August. I simply keep trying and while it isn't going anywhere near as well as I hoped, I am trying.

It would appear that my confidence level has hit an all time low, which results in my becoming discouraged about my skating. I'm working on that, along with not complaining so much (yeah, right) and of course, working out to lose weight.

That's all I got for now.

Lake Placid, Black and Blond - Part 2

So, here I sit in my room, crying because I am having such a horrible time. I am trying, desperately, to be positive and remember that this is an opportunity many do not get. Well, if this is what one would consider a gift, I'd like to get the receipt. After spending so much money, I am determined to stay the week, however, I am almost looking forward to returning to work. A job I absolutely hate. I have nothing to look forward to at all.

Lake Placid, Black and Blond

If one more idiot stares at me because I am a black person with light brown hair and darker skin, I am going to break my foot off in their ass. What the hell is wrong with these people? They've never seen a black person before? Where the hell have you been living? What the hell are your problems?

I'm up in Lake Placid, after not being able to come up here for the adult skating week for seven years. Seven years people! Do you know how much this means to me? Do you have any damned idea how important this is to me? Can you all get it through your heads? I love skating. I used to be pretty damned good for an adult. It all went to hell when I hurt my back and subsequently ran out of money. Every time I'm on the ice, I know exactly what it costs, monetarily, emotionally and physically. So you can imagine how frustrating it can be to drive over 300 miles, in a rainstorm, to skate in Lake Placid and have a bunch of rude-ass adults get in my way. I am a lefty, which means I skate in the opposite direction. I spin clockwise while everyone else spins counter-clockwise. I am the ONLY lefty on the ice this week. Just me. Yep, lucky me. I am the only lefty AND the only, yes, ONLY BLACK PERSON ON THE ICE. Guess what people, you can't miss me. All you have to do is look up. Get your heads out of your ass and notice that there are other people on the freaking ice.

I have moved out of every stinking person on these sessions and NO ONE has moved for me. I am frustrated to a point where I can't do anything. And you have no idea how upsetting that is. Allow me to tell you this: just because my skin is brown doesn't mean I don't know what skating is. I hate the fact that my skills seem to have disappeared and I can't do anything. But do not think yourself so superior that you have the absolute nerve to ask me if I know how to skate. Kiss my ass fool.

I am angry. Angry that skills I had last year have up and left me. Angry that I am in so much pain and popping pain killers every day. Angry that every coach asks me my name because I am so easy to spot and I'm guessing they believe it looks good to know the black girl's name. Angry that I could be on a somewhat roll and people want to talk to me. Angry that someone I know told me to stop whinning because I stated I couldn't get anything done. Angry that I drove up here, paid all this money and am sitting in my room typing this when I could be on the ice, but what difference would it make because I can't do anything. Angry that a skater from home told me not to talk to her coach unless she was finished speaking to him. (WTF?) Angry that when I came in June and also had a horrible time (although this month takes the cake) and asked for a refund because I had already paid for August, was told "no".

Do you know what it's like to really love something and really suck at it? No? Consider yourself lucky. For all the money I have put into this sport, I could have brought a house. Or retired young. But no, I decided to become a competitive adult figure skater and I suck at it. If I were smart, I'd quit. Maybe I just should. It's not like anyone would notice.

And to the people up here in Lake Placid, young and old, who keep looking at me as though they've never seen a black person with light brown hair, I have only one thing to say to you: Kiss my ****ing ass!