Friday, August 20, 2010

Maybe This Time...

It's been an interesting few weeks.

I tried to be upbeat and optimistic about my skating, weight, job and general distain for listening to people complain (it's part of my wonderful job. It would be easier if people actually read BEFORE they called me to complain...). I tried.

Three weeks ago, while at Chelsea Piers, a young (23) adult skater asked if I thought she'd ever get the jumps she had as a child back again. I said sure, if you work hard enough. She asked me how long I had been skating and I gave my general "too long to be at this level" response. When pressed, I told her I had taken years off from time to time, but was a pretty good skater at one point.

She didn't believe me.

I had all my singles before I totally ran out of money. I had all my singles before my body betrayed me and started to hurt like hell. All my singles, including axel, which wasn't particularly consistant, but was there. And this snip didn't believe me.

Life is a funny thing. Just when you're coasting along, enjoying the world, something goes wrong. A car needs repair. A roof starts to leak. Occasional over-time becomes daily over-time. A company folds. A slight twitch becomes an all-encompassing pain that never goes away. Weight gains are harder to lose. All of your reserve money is used to pay bills and buy groceries. You get older. Loved ones die. I told Ms. Snip that all of these things will eventually happen to her. She doubted it. "Do you really think your parents are going to continue to pay for your skating like they did when you were a kid?" She hadn't thought of that.

My last session, which was last week, was a mini disaster. Once again, the first session went fairly well. I had some solid backspins. My MIF were actually moving. Then the second session began and I think my feet forgot what to do. It was cold in the rink and Sal decided it was time to remind me he was there. Phil showed up too, but Gerri, Sylvie and Carly stayed away. I took an interesting, out of control fall on a spin. Ms. Snip asked if I was okay. I told her I ignore the pain as much as possible, thanked her and skated away.

Amy will be in tomorrow. I'm glad because this has been one of the worse skating summers I've had in a long time. I had such hope for the summer, such hope.

My job is cutting my almost non-existant salary by 1 1/2%, which isn't much until you consider that my roommate wants to move away. If she goes, so goes skating because I won't be able to afford it anymore. I don't fault her for wanting to move; I just don't like her motives. Wanting to move to another state so you can be closer to your "friends" is just juvenile, especially when you factor in not having a job, a place to live or the ability to drive.

I am going to try to enjoy these last months of skating before the boom is lowered. I can try to stay positive and hope that I find another, better paying job (I've worked here for 7 years; I've been looking for a new job for 6 1/2 years.) that will allow me to pay the entire rent and other bills and still skate. However, I must be realistic. As much as I hope and pray, there is a very good chance this will not happen.

I don't go out. I don't date. I don't go to the movies. Sometimes I go to the theatre, but for the most part, I skate. That's it. I would hate to have to quit again, but I think this time it'll be for good. I'm getting a bit too old to start from scratch every year. I've watched adults who started after I did, fly past me on tests and elements and it hurts like the dickens. More than Sal. Maybe it's just time.

I hate having to defend my previous skating ability. No one believes me anyway.

2 comments:

  1. I hope you don't quit for good. There's nothing wrong with having to take some time off for financial reasons and then coming back. You've got to do something for fun, or be saving for something fun, otherwise how do you make it through the day? I'm surprised little miss snippy isn't paying her own way, at 23? Really? And I know it's hard to shrug it off (I skate at a rink unfriendly to adult skaters) but who cares what she thinks! Are there any strategies you haven't tried in the search for a new job? Can you move to a cheaper place? Cut any household costs? Various tests and elements are good goals, but why do you really skate? What do you get out of it?

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  2. Thank you Tiffany. It's funny; I started skating to mend a broken heart. The guy's married with kids, has totally forgotten about me and here I am still on the ice! I live in NYC, one of the most expensive places on the east coast (born and raised), so I can't imagine moving elsewhere. I'm trying to stay positive about finances and skills and tests. As for little miss snippy, yes, her parents pay for her skating. Can you believe it? By 23, I had a degree and a full time job and was paying my own bills. Go figure.

    What do I get out of skating? Other than the fact that I absolutely love it, even when it isn't going well, strangely, it makes me happy (most of the time). Plus, when you jump, for a split second, you're flying. And you're free.

    Thanks!

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