One Sided Love Affair?

Late last month, I took a week off from work to give myself my own "skate week". As with all previous skate weeks, it didn't go quite as planned. City Ice Pavilion, which, as I said before, is basically an outdoor rink with a top was hot as hell. The best part was for the three sessions I was able to skate, I was the only person on the ice. That was wonderful. Unfortunately, almost none of my jumps decided to show up and only one of my spins made a brief appearance. Still, it was nice to be the only person on the ice. Wish I had had some music to listen to...

I only made it to the rink three times thanks to yet another procedure performed in my doctor's office. This one went worse than the first one and I'd rather not have another one done, thank you very much.

My wonderful coach Amy went away for the weekend, leaving me to practice on my own the following week. The first session went well; considering I needed more sleep, would have preferred not having to stand all the way into Manhattan and then having to walk from 6th Avenue to 12th Avenue. These are Manhattan blocks people. By the time I got to the rink I was tired, really tired. But the first session went pretty well, with some decent backspins (the bane of my existance along with two jumps and outside mohawks). The second session was not as good. I seemed to get in my own way. My legs did things I didn't ask them to do, my arms went on about their merry way regardless of what I wanted. Needless to say, it was not a good session. I left 5 minutes early in hopes of getting some more sleep on the train. I did.

That brings us to this week. I am feeling melancholy. I watch other skaters on YouTube and wonder "Maybe I should video tape myself" and then I think, I'll probably quit after watching myself. I haven't lost any weight; I haven't even been trying. Where did my desire go? My determination? I only wanted four things to happen this summer and if they did, I was going to buy myself a pair of expensive shoes I've been dreaming about. I am no where close to that goal; I'm not even on the same page.

It probably doesn't help that no one reads my blog; not even my family. I feel like I am swimming upstream and no one has even noticed I'm in the water.

I still love skating, I'm just wondering if it loves me back.