Off-Ice Class

I signed up for an eight week, two classes per weekend, off-ice online program. Nothing tells you how out of shape you are than taking a 45 minute off-ice class. Nothing. Jumping around for 45 minutes takes a lot when you're overweight and out of shape. Several weeks later and I discovered that my body usually hurts either when I sit for too long, or the next day. After the first two classes (they are on Saturays and Sundays), I found out that parts of my body I didn't know could hurt, did indeed hurt. My eyelashes hurt. My back hurt. My knees hurt. My side hurt. My shins hurt. Now, as I approach the last class of an eight week session, I'm not in as much pain in so many different areas. Now, only my quads, knees and back hurt. Happily, my eyelashes are fine. As I mentioned, you don't realize how out of shape you are until you're the only adult in an online off-ice class and you have to stop several times during the 4-6 minute jump rope portion of the warmup. No part of my body enjoys that. And I sound like I'm 20,000 years old with a smoker's cough when jumping rope. And I don't even use a jump rope! I tried the first class, only to discover that I don't really have enough room to jump rope in my living room. You can still stumble through a jump rope warmup without an actual jump rope. Being a clockwise or lefty skater is always a lesson in reversing instructions. Teacher says "left hand", you know it's your right hand. Teacher says "land on your right foot", you know it's land on your left foot. When instructed to do jumps in both directions, that's when I get confused. Right hand? Left hand? Whatever. Just try your best. At least I know my right from my left; there are two little ones in my class who aren't so sure. Before you say I'm being mean, they're at least 8 years old. By 8, you should know your right from your left. Last week, I took a tumble during class, falling down hard in front of my camera, scraping my knees and shins and somehow breaking a toe nail. As if I were on the ice, got right back up, checked for blood and continued the class. Once class was over, it was time for ice packs, bandaids and antibotic ointment. Later that night, a nice cold glass of champagne soothed the pain. As this session of off-ice classes with this particular company draws to a close, I have noticed that my jumps have a bit more spring in them. Even my coach noticed the spring in my jumps. I was surprised to learn that I should be doing off-ice four times a week, including the class. Oops. I will add that to my list of things to do. After watching a fellow skater's YouTube video on a week in her life, it's obvious that I need to organize my life better. Granted, she doesn't work weekends and due to the amount of work I have, I do work weekends. She also lives in Manhattan, so she doesn't kill two hours a day just traveling to and from the rink. Her hours are also more flexible than mine; I absolutely have to be signed into the system no later than 9:30, although no one gives a hoot about what time I sign off. Somehow I have to find time for a lunch break so I can do my new obsession: Medicine Ball workouts. Add that obsession to my spin class and kickboxing. Doing this and meal preps and I won't feel so out of shape. I also need to organize my work space so I don't constantly mutter swear words while thinking "where is my PEN?!?!" I will be trying a new off-ice class in a few weeks. This one is for adult skaters, so we'll be muted on Zoom so you don't hear the sound of popping and cracking body parts. We'll all smell like mentholatum, but since we're home, no one will notice. I'll update you on that class once it starts. Meanwhile, I'm off to run errands. Happy skating.