Competition

I competed today. I wish I could say I am happy with the results, but I'm not. I am disappointed because I had so many really great run-throughs. I wish I had skated the program as I had on Friday's run-through.

I just never really got my feet underneath me. It probably didn't help that I was at a level 6 in the back pain category. And while my coach seemed pleased, I think she was a bit disappointed too. I could have won this event; I should have won this event. The only thing that went somewhat well in my opinion was my final spin. The rest of it was a blur of poop.

I came in second. Not bad, you say. There were only two of us, so in short, I came in last.

I don't compete nearly enough. And currently, I am past the point of disappointment.

I will try harder; I must try harder.

Ouch... now at level 7.

What's Going On?

Marvin Gaye sang that song back in the 60's. If you don't know who Marvin Gaye was, look him up, I'm not going to give you a lesson on Soul Music. He asked a very important question and I've recently asked myself.

Skating has been going really well, even with the lesson interruptions due to unfortunate personal issues my wonderful coach has been having. Losing a family member to illness is devastating; I should know. Both of my parents are no longer here and I miss them terribly. Not a day goes by without me thinking about them.

Before I continue, I'd like to specify that I live in NYC and skate at many of the rinks about the city and Long Island. Well, almost. I've never actually made it to that 6:15 session in Bethpage, but I'm hopeful. It's not far from my current job.

So, I skate my regular session last Wednesday, and except for arriving late (thank you sick passenger on the LIRR), the session goes pretty well. I'm trying to put together the elements of my program without looking like the Creature from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. I'm also trying to remember to close my mouth while skating; it looks so much prettier and I'm not getting any additional air into my lungs anyway. I set up a salchow, stop in mid-air and land in a clumsy position and keep on skating through the discomfort. Ouch.

On Saturday, I decided to return to World Ice Arena in Flushing Meadow Park. I had stopped skating there after hurting my knee and truly disliking the vibe I received from all the skating parents. (Note to skating parents: the odds of your little sweetie making it to the Olympics are about 1:1000.) This was the strangest session I had ever skated in life.

First off, World Ice is one of the warmest rinks I've ever been in. You could skate in a bathing suit and not feel cold. One lap around the rink and you're sweating. As a result, the ice is sticky, tacky; you have to push ten times harder to produce the same result on any other surface. It's almost like skating on the ground, you must push so hard. Be that as it may, it's still an affordable and close-by ice rink. Anything for ice. Now the strange part.

I'm skating laps at the beginning of the session when at the far end of the rink are ten to twelve girls spinning. They have taken all the space from the blue line to the boards to spin. They aren't really in control and their spins are a bit wild. However, the oddest part is there they are, spinning and no one else seems to notice.

By now I'm starting on my Moves in the Field and need the ends to skate from forwards to backwards, but I can't. There they are, all of them below my shoulder, spinning. Camel spins, sit spins, scratch spins and a few back spin attempts. Everybody knows (or should know) that spins are done in the center. It's to prevent accidents. If I'm coming down ice to do a jump and little Suzie is doing a spin, she doesn't see me and depending on the jump, I may not see her.

I'm taken aback. Surely the coaches know spinning is done in the center and jumps are on the ends. I look at the center: children are jumping there. I am speechless. And confused. I ask a coach if this is normal for this rink (case in point: Peter Burrows used to have skaters spin in one corner of the rink so that the higher level skaters could have the other areas for jumps. Had trouble getting used to that too.) or was I just being a stickler for rules? No, she replied. When she was skating spins were done in the center and she didn't understand why the skaters were allowed to spin wherever they chose.

I made the best of the situation. I almost took a kid down when I landed a jump and didn't see her doing a dozen crossovers into a spin. After the third time, I suggested she spin in the center where it was expected. She replied, "Ohhhhh......"

Sometimes I think skaters spend too much time in the cold and it freezes their common sense.

I skated that session with a headache. This is important because I suffer from migraines. I call them Miles. Miles came to visit four days before Christmas last December and opted to stay for the holidays. Miles comes in various degrees from tolerable (Saturday's session) to debilitating (Saturday night, Sunday and Monday).

Sunday morning was the last session for Sunday and I was looking forward to practicing. My coach would not be there and I was eager to get on the ice. Miles showed up strong. I, stupidly, took 4 Tylenol 3's on a mostly empty stomach. Bad idea knowing how my stomach is. Forty-five minutes later, I felt well enough to go to the rink, but my head still hurt. I tried to skate the session. Miles had caused me to be fairly dizzy, so spinning was out of the question, as was skating backwards. After a half hour, I gave up. My head was throbbing and I had to drop something off at my sister's rehearsal.

Upon arriving home, I was in full blown Miles migraine mode. Every sound from my lead-footed upstairs neighbors sent sharp pains through my head. Every slammed door from my raised-in-a-barn downstairs neighbors made my teeth rattle. I tried to sleep; I kept the room dark. I listened to a very soft TV, I prayed, I was sick to my stomach.

Here is where I should mention that the prescription medicine I have makes me puke and causes the room to spin out of control. I cannot sit up after taking this medicine and usually just lie on the bathroom floor waiting to be sick. With that in mind and because I was home alone, I didn't take the medicine.

Miles stuck around until Monday night when his strength started to die out. On Tuesday, I went to my physician, who gave me something else to take. She also gave me something which should help with Phil. So far so good with Phil and Miles.

That brings us to Wednesday. Things were going well. The bounce-back headache that occurs after a migraine was slowly going away and I was looking forward to skating. That was when Sylvie showed her ugly head. Sylvie is my sciatica and she hasn't shown up in months. Two weeks before a competition and here comes Sylvie. Sylvie prevented me from jumping off my right leg and spinning. Thank you so much Sylvie.

As I type this, Sylvie is still here, but not as bad. Driving hurts like crazy. I'm going to try to plow through the pain and skate on Saturday, twice.

I mention all of this simply to show dedication. How many of your co-workers would go through all of this pain and discomfort for a sport they love?

It'll get better. It already is.

Observations

I was listening to some old music recently when I remembered skating when the song first came out on the radio. That's when it occurred to me: I'm at the exact same level, if not lower, now that I was then. That's not only depressing, it's sad. I've been forced to take so much time out that I've become somewhat comfortable with my abilities and inabilities. I marvel at those who seem to fly past me in skill level while I stay stagnate.

It was rather annoying too. First off, I've always liked the song. I am reminded of people I skated with, some of whom were in school at the time and who are now married with children (or divorced with children, or just with children; whatever...) and well, I'm not. I don't mind not being married, believe me, but I am annoyed that my skill level hasn't really changed. And I've spent quite a bit of cash on this sport too.

Mostly, I'm to blame. I am not good with finances. I have almost no time management skills when it comes to my own personal life. I am forever late; although it isn't always my fault. And now that I am (shudder!) older, I suppose I have that annoying adult fear. What if I get hurt? What if I look stupid? What if they laugh at me? What if they look at me?

All of those things have already happened. I once fell while doing a split jump (missed my toe pick) and landed wrist and left facial cheek first. I bit through my bottom lip, had a hairline fracture of my cheek, a mild concussion, a really bad headache and a sprained wrist. I did one more split jump because my then coach insisted that I not shy away from them (once the bleeding stopped, of course) and have not done one since.

Looking stupid? Been there, done that. Who could forget skating to The Jets Song from West Side Story and having to snap my fingers with the recording. Boy did I hate doing that and I felt and looked stupid.

Laugh at me? Oh boy, has that happened. I once had a rather odd fall on a jump only to see six faces on the other side of the boards laughing hysterically and pointing. I bowed for them and cursed them under my breath.

Looking at me is the hardest to deal with. I don't like doing my program because I know people will look at me and I don't think I'm that good a skater. I want to be a better skater and yet, I over analyse everything. And I mean, everything. I can be stiffer than Frankenstein's creature when doing a program.

Maybe I don't practice enough. I find there is an odd occurrence when I skate at a rink other than the one I have my lesson in. It takes me quite a while to get used to the surface, the air and the people. I can't understand why this happens and often wonder if I'm the only person who suffers from this.

I'm just tired of being at this level, being this bad after all this time. And I'm not really that bad. I'm just not as good as I want to be.

My coach says I'm too negative. After reading this, I see she's correct. I will abort a jump or spin if it doesn't feel absolutely perfect, and I'm a pretty good jumper and spinner. I can get some pretty good height out of these long legs and quite a bit of speed on my spins. I need to believe in myself more. And stop being so critical.

With that in mind, I will try to be more positive. I can do it.

Happily, my sessions have been good, although crowded. Where did all these skaters come from anyway? I just have to work more on consistency so that I don't try 8 jumps to land 2. Or do 10 spins and only finish 4. I can work though this desire to be perfect all the time and just do it.

No session this Wednesday. Will skate this Saturday. More later...

Hmmmm......

Public transportation is iconic to NYC. Without it, the city would grind to a halt and most people would stand around wondering how to get from points A to B.

That's been happening almost every weekend in NYC. "Track work" has caused almost every subway line to re-route to a slightly different course, resulting in most riders having to scramble, leave early or do some extra walking. I don't mind walking. I don't mind leaving earlier. However, when a 45 minute trip to the rink takes nearly 2 hours, I mind.

I have been getting to the rink later and later, and leaving to travel earlier and earlier. Sometimes, it's the Long Island transportation that is causing the problem. Signal trouble, congestion ahead, whatever. All I know is, when I'm supposed to be on a 5:32pm train to get to Manhattan at 6:20, I don't want the train to arrive at 5:45 and not arrive in Manhattan until 6:40. I, like everyone else in the world, have someplace to go.

The subways have been working my last nerve too. Last weekend, it took 2 hours to get to the rink. Most of that was waiting for the crosstown bus. I would have walked, but it was pouring rain and I was shielding an older woman whom I didn't know, with my umbrella. I could have just given her my umbrella, but I didn't want to leave her in that downpour waiting alone. I'll take some of the credit for being late to the rink on that one, but not all of it.

What are you doing MTA? And why are you messing with my ice time??

That being said, I am now forced to wonder: can your feet shrink?

For the past week, I have noticed more space than usual in my skates. Maybe I'm not lacing them tight enough, but I can now lift my heel in the back. If you are a skater, you know that you should NEVER be able to lift your heel. Oddly, I seem to be able to compensate for the extra movement because it's not really effecting my progress. Every time on the ice, I improve a little. Consistency seems to be the nemesis at this point because what I could do on Sunday, I can't seem to keep for Monday or Wednesday. Oh, let's be honest, Wednesday.

That brings me to another issue: I haven't made it to my Monday morning session in like, ever. The session begins at (please sit down for this) 6:00am. It's in Long Island, not far from work. Yes, I would get to work really, really, really early on Mondays (and beat my boss in so I don't end up getting the "stink eye" when she gets in before me...), but it means getting out of my house at 5:00 to drive there. And since I've never been there, I'm not sure I won't get lost. (One day I will explain my direction issues, my GPS not working in my car and my general hatred for getting lost.) I have the directions, I just don't seem to have the motivation to get up. All I would/could do at that unsociable hour is Moves in the Field and back spins. I have to be awake to do more than that and at 6:00, I'm not awake.

Since I have decided to re-dedicate myself to the sport of figure skating, I need to get off my duff. Plus, I've put so much money into this sport, I feel I just should. I'm really not a bad skater, just a slightly undisciplined, under-trained skater. I used to have so much discipline. I didn't date because I wanted to be on the ice. (Was I crazy? Now I can't get a date!) I was on a constant diet, didn't drink, went to bed at 9:30 and worked out for no less than an hour every day. All while still working a full-time job. I was an adult doing this people, not a kid being driven to the rink by my parents. I've had the will, the discipline, the drive. Now I just need to get it back.

It's Thursday and I could have brought my skates in to skate after work, but I chose not to. Mostly because my feet are swollen. Don't ask why, I have no idea. Instead of skating, I will be icing my feet, trying to figure out why they hurt all the time. I suppose I could give up my heels, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

As far as my skating is going, I am still pleased. I am occasionally amazed when something goes really, really well (like my back spins yesterday) just as I am annoyed when it doesn't. The sessions are still entirely too crowded, no one seems to realize that I too am working here. There's a really obnoxious 20 year old on my Wednesday session who seems to take pleasure in skating really close to an adult skater who isn't moving as fast as she can. She's a good skater, too bad she's such an unpleasant human being. I take that back; she's very nice to people she considers to be a good skater. However, all in all, things are still going well.

I'm off to ice the balls of my feet in hopes that the swelling will go down. I plan to skate a session on Saturday night and I need to figure out why my skates feel so big.

See you on the ice.

Welcome Spring!

So, spring on the east coast of the US has finally arrived!! With the arrival of spring comes the closing of outdoor skating rinks. Boo hoo! With the closing of those outdoor skating rinks comes the masses of skaters to the indoor rinks. And with those skaters come some of the strangest skating manners/habits I've ever seen.

Feel like spinning in the track? Go ahead. You've been skating at an outdoor rink that didn't really have a track, so do what you want. Everyone else on the ice will simply have to go around you. Want to jump in the center? Ignore the "program right of way" rule? Have a long conversation with your friend about the Twilight series? By all means, enjoy.

Skating rink, want to place 37 people on a session that's only supposed to have 22? Hey, feel free! Who cares if someone gets hurt because a skater decided to do a back spiral? Everyone has 3 inches of ice to call their very own. Isn't that enough? No? Wow, who knew?

Happily, this usually only lasts for a few weeks before things settle down again. The last 2 sessions I skated before I had to go away for a business trip had 32 and 37 skaters respectively. I think I'm still trying to finish my Moves In the Field on that last session...

By the way, has anyone seen my scratch spin? It took a short vacation and is still traveling, literally. I start that spin in NY and finish it in FL. I know, I know, abs, abs, abs!

Speaking of abs, my drive to and from work is 40 miles round trip. Mind you, they are in the "opposite" direction of rush hour. Yeah, right. When there is no traffic, the commute takes about 30 minutes. There is ALWAYS traffic!!! By the time I finally get home, I have NO desire to go to the gym. Mostly, I'm just hungry. And since I cook dinner, I stay home and cook. Then I get on the computer. This is not helping me. (I hate my commute!!!)

This is a problem. I need, no I MUST go to the gym and work out. I actually LOVE working out. Spin class is my favorite and I never make it to that class any longer. I wanted to take a yoga class (actually, I did once and it was soooooo past advanced for me that I had to leave the class!) or a Pilates class, but I feel so out of shape. Ugggghhhh!!!!!!

Add to this, I'm supposed to compete in early June. The program is a short artistic program, which isn't very hard. There are only two problems: 1. I have NO stamina, cough non-stop and feel like a hippo. 2. I brought a WHITE dress to wear. What was I thinking?? Can I get away with wearing a trash bag instead?

I still need to lose weight. I have to gain the stamina to get through a 94 second (that's right, a little over a minute and a half) program. Why don't I have the stamina to get through a 1:34 second program? Damn you Phil, my cough!

I'm rambling. I've been off the ice and without a lesson for a week thanks to work. I cannot be off the ice for that long.

Just found out that a rink in NJ is having an Adult Skating Week. I will not be attending for a few reasons: 1. It's a bit pricey. 2. It's in NJ. 3. They picked the same week that the rink in NY had planned on doing an adult skating week. NY would have worked better for me. Plus, I am reminded of my disaster of last year's adult skating weeks...

The Adult Nationals were this past weekend (I was at a meeting for work). I had the opportunity to watch some of the competition online. I so wish I could have been there. However, I still haven't passed my Moves in the Field test and I've failed the freestyle test twice.

I have a lot more work to do. I need to get off my duff and just do it.

Just do it. Say, that sounds like it could be a catch phase for a shoe company...

Rain, Rain, Go Away....

If you read my very first post, then you know I have a chronic back issue. It's called degenerative joint disease, but I prefer to call it "Sal". Previously, Sal took residence in my spine and decided that this was a great place to live. And there Sal has lived for years, renting with the option to own.

Lately Sal has been joined in the apartment complex of my body with "Gerri". Gerri is my chronic upset stomach. Gerri is my chronic nausea, which oddly, is helping me to lose weight. However, if you've ever suffered from this annoying condition, it loses its appeal really early on. Several trips to the doctor later and I know that Gerri is caused by stress because my stomach is fine.

At the beginning of fall and spring, "Phil" likes to come and visit. Usually Phil doesn't stay long, just long enough to give a bone rattling, crap filled cough that makes most people run from me. Phil arrived in October and decided to stay a while. Phil is still here. Occasionally, just to mess with me, Sal, Gerri and Phil join forces. Phil will cause me to cough very hard, making post-nasal drip fall into my stomach, annoying Gerri and Sal will go out because Sal feel neglected.

With all of that going on, I am still skating and still improving. Last Wednesday, I fell several times, more times than I have fallen in an entire year. What did I learn? I over-rotated one jump and under-rotated another. Don't forget to check your arms going into that turn. Keep your head up. Bend your knees. Relax into the move. Just do it.

This past Sunday, I awoke to go to the rink with Sal at a level 8.5 (I gauge my pain on a 10 point scale). I decided to go anyway because usually after warming up, I forget about the pain until the session is over. Plus, I had another lesson and really didn't want to miss it because work will keep me off the ice in the middle of the month (grrrr!!!).

My timing was off. I was tilted in the air. I fell, again and again. I knew exactly why (see the beginning of the paragraph). Sal had decided to try and show me who was boss. I ignored Sal for most of the session, but then Phil showed up too. I tried to skate my program and ran out of air 3/4 of the way through. All I could do was cough and cough and then Gerri wanted to be remembered and I thought everything I had not eaten was going to make a return appearance. Happily, it didn't. However, when I tried to do one last spin, I couldn't place all of my weight on my back left inside edge for the crossover. I was surprised as this hadn't happened in years. I had to admit defeat to my coach, who, (bless her) said I had done a good job anyway. While she was telling me what I should practice, I had to lean on the boards because I really couldn't put much weight on my left leg.

This brings me to the title of this particular blog: Rain, Rain, Go Away. If it would just stop raining so much, my bones and lungs would "dry out" and I could go on with life. I could stop limping and stop eating crackers.

However, even with Sal, Gerri and Phil, I am skating and I am improving, so, I am happy.

But just in case.... "Rain, rain, go away. This skater wants to go out and play...."

Working My Way Back

Something happened. Something not expected.

I decided to ask my coach if she could give me another lesson every week. Instead of one lesson per week, I'd have two. That meant, unfortunately, another session with the rude rich kids who can only do an element in the exact same spot every single time. Oh, who cares about them? Anyway, she was available on Sundays (there goes going out on Saturday night... yeah, like I do that!) and I said okay.

Well, after several false starts, something happened on a Wednesday evening session.

I could skate. And I could skate well.

My jumps returned. I had speed, I had flow, I had confidence. And I didn't notice the other skaters. I made a decision to jump and jump I did. Were you in my way? Sorry, didn't notice you. Was I in your way? Too bad, I was in lesson and had the right of way.

It was amazing. It was freeing. It was skating.

Best news, it appears to be hanging around. Every week, my confidence is better, my skating is stronger. There is no concrete reason for this to have happened, except my belief and my faith. If this offends you, don't read this. I am proud to say, my prayers to God were answered.

My joy of skating has returned. Now if the weather would cooperate a bit more, I could get to the rink for more practice. Darn that rain causing the highway to flood...

It is my plan to compete in June in a small, local competition. I did the same competition last year and came in 2nd out of 2. I prefer to say this rather than I came in last. This means I have to get back on my eating plan and skating more often. I'm looking forward to beating the woman who won last year, even though she is a friend. Plus, I have a new dress!

Skating tomorrow and looking forward to it . Look out world, here I come!!